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Posted by on 2012/05/06 under Uncategorized

I like daydreaming way too much. I wish I could get lost in my own thoughts sometime. I keep thinking about every possible thing that could happen. But I know those things will never come true. That makes me feel so worried and anxious that I think daydreaming is not good after all.
Reality is different, full of problems and insecurity. I never search for a solution, but wait until it all goes away. I ignore every single problem that cannot be solved immediately. My grades that are falling, living without my family in the time of school, being liked by this lesbian girl I only want to be friends with and having to watch my own face every day, wondering how the hell did I become such an ugly human being. I just push it all away.

2 thoughts on “05-05-12(15:29:04)

  1. D says:

    Day dreaming is a thing which bothers me also…
    I am think abt miracles that will happen and change the world around me. like I will get hell lot of money and then link goes on n on.. then I think of ways to spend that much of money… hours and hours I think abt this. The second thing is of GF .. I never had one and think about it a lot more..

  2. zack says:

    Oh bummer man. That was everyday for me in high school. Eventually I freaked out and realized I still wanted to do everything that I wanted to do in high school but didn’t get the chance, only it was like 5 years later! Better to just bite the bullet. I mean, brace yourself first. But then really go for it. Step out into the cold, scary s*** that is your life at this moment. It’s like peeling off a band-aid, and then pouring alcohol on it to clean the wound (ouch!), and then accidentally scraping off the scab with your fingernail when you try to just grab a little hair that got stuck in it….basically the suckiness will go on and on. But it’s what you gotta do and there are no quick fixes. And at least you get to do it yourself! Imagine if someone else tried to clean up your life for you..maybe they’d do it in a way that you wouldn’t like and put things back in weird places where you can’t find them or paint the walls a color that you aren’t into. I’m speaking metaphorically of course. Get all into it, your day I mean, just jump around and get everyone off your back. Tell ’em to f*** off because you’ve got s*** to do and no one and nothing is gonna stand in your way. And whatever the s*** is you gotta do, do it the way YOU want to do. Need to draw a picture for school? Color outside the lines! That’s abstract post-modern whatever art man, it sells for millions nowadays. Have some homework? Answer all the answers yes if you must. Then, go in after school and get the teacher to help you answer every question right if that’s what you want to do. Do it your way, f*** the system–wear the same outfit two days in a row or pick your nose in class, just do it! You’ll feel better probably, and maybe some of your problems will seem more solveable because you’ll realize that the answer is whatever you want it to be!!

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