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Posted by on 2021/12/05 under Life

honestly all yours thoughts of thinking you are ugly fat and worthless. You are bad at everything have no talent and feel like taking your own life. Its like i read my mind when i read your story. It really sucks to feel ur useless. Its sucks when you have to think that ur a burden to ur parents. I have a brother, he's younger than me. he is bright , intelligent, has everything planned out and has friends. I'm always jealous of him and everytime he makes mean remarks about me i get so hurt. So at that times when my parents scold me or I get bullied or feel like a complete freak who is fat and useless and is nothing but a burden, I go to my balcony and look down…I see my self lying on the ground. I think of how it would be if i jumped and died. I also don't know what my purpose in life is. But after that i think of my parents and my brother. They will cry, they are sad. They will end up blaming themselves. And i love my parents, Even if i dont have my life figured out and is also not in the right place to give u advice, I know one thing i don't my parents to cry or blame themselves. Even though you think ur alone or hate yourself. Your parents love and you know there are people who love you for who u are. To people who look down on you IGNORE THEM!!! There are those who will support you but also those who will look down on u and blame you for your shortcomings. Your 21, try to live girl. You should try to think with a clear mind. But there is one thing you said that is different for me. Im greedy to live. Im afraid to die. I want happiness. I think a lot of why god is punishing me like thins. WHy bring me to this world to make me suffer. I cry alone without anybody to talk or understand me. yet after all this i see myself dying in different ways im actually very afraid to do it. If the reason to die is to attain happiness and peace, i don't think death does that. I also want you to be greedy. greedy to live, try to enjoy the life. I honestly don't know why i want to stop you from thinking negatively especially because i think just like you. I want to change myself. I want to make my parents happy and proud. I want to be happy. And also rethink if your family alone is the one stopping you from death and there is not even a little part of you who wants to live. I don't want to you to be angry, i just wanted to help you. IN the end it is your decision. One more thing…You are beautiful, your not useless, your not worthless, your not alone. Your parents might hurt you but they are saying this so they could make sure you have everything for you future, they don't want their daughter to end up sad. If something makes you happy(person, job, or anything) and makes you want to live they will understand and finally relax as their happiness lies in yours.

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