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Posted by on 2021/11/22 under Life

I feel like the biggest loser. 8 years down the drain. All the sweet things I did & said were all a waste.
I’m 33 & I feel like I’m having a mental breakdown. I’m tryna drown this pain in drinks weed & sex but nothing is helping. My girlfriend of 8 years is just over me & it’s so hard for me to accept it, I want to buy it’s so hard man! One day it’s “I love u” then the next day it’s “how many times do I have to tell you I don’t want to be with you anymore?… she never wants to touch me! Call me or text me & when I contact her she’s mad that I’m contacting her. My last relationship was 5 years & that girl broke me DOWN by sleeping with a mutual friend. This girlfriend is more of the “take my stories to the grave with me type. Every-time she goes out she comes back with all new male followers. I ask her about it and she says “I didn’t follow anyone” I show her her proof and she lies some more she says “I didn’t follow anyone” since she don’t want to touch me I just pay for sex now, because I get so horny that it’s hard for me to focus on anything & it leave me frustrated with her. I don’t think it’s no saving us! This just really might be the last days with the woman I loved the most ( other then my mom who passed away in November because to covid.

Man. I can’t believe I lost her. Maybe it was the constant fighting about trust and lies. Maybe it was the fact that I NEVER TRUSTED HER. She makes it hard to! or maybe she caught me cheating so much that she doesn’t want to be honest with me! Maybe I don’t deserve that from her.

I’m 33 a grown ass man making 85k a year & inside I am completely broken.
I feel like a simp like she’s using me to get on her feet. One time I heard her say “once I’m up girl I’m leaving him” smfh. I still f***ing stayed like an idiot.

Love is the most painful s*** I ever been in. I’m hurt, I’m sad, I’m man!

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