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Posted by on 2011/06/02 under Uncategorized

I am scared,,I don’t know what will happen..I haven’t had a close friend since 10 years ago,,no-one has stayed with me..and I try but they always think I have my own friends..and never a bf too,,i always hoped that my first bf would be my close friend too..I am also scared that once family start moving out everything will break,, they are my brothers who don’t talk to each other and my mum..also we are renting so once one starts moving out there will no where to go back to ..i am also trying so hard to look for paid jobs but i can’t get one,,i am volunteering but no money..i have felt depressed alot since the start of HS 10yrs ago but now I feel ok,,but nothings changed much..I always wanted to suicide but I believe in church and so I choose not to and don’t..I think I used to be very scared of people so thats why I didnt talk much and they were scared to talk to me..but now Im not scared anymore,,I just don’t care.. so I will say something if I want..but not mean things..and I see those mean people in movies and places and I would never hurt my friends or anyone, so why can’t I get any one to be my friend,, and I feel so more sad about that..or maybe what I think and what I do doesn’t come out..I don’t know..I will keep trying.. because I have do something good with my life..this made me feel better..

2 thoughts on “

  1. Anonymous says:

    keep trying!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sure you will find what your looking for you sound like a good person 🙂 im scared too

  2. Anonymous says:

    Life is hard sometimes huh?
    Sometimes you can’t control your days

    Things in life, they just happen and they just are. A tree falling on your car kinda just happens. The tree or life doesnt hate you, it just is

    Things in life, they just happen and they just are. A tree falling on your car kinda just happens. The tree or life doesnt hate you, it just is

    so what we gatta do is take it as it comes

    It’s hard to see how bad things help and easy to see how good things help, but the truth is experience in general help becuase it includes both good and bad stuff, so bad stuff MUST help

    Basically we are gifted with being alive because being alive how I see it is being conscious. Rocks, don’t think. they just are and same with trees and cars.

    But we think. We have things like memories, humor, emotion, appreciation, beauty

    so let me start off like this: in life, for every good things there is a bad thing, for every negative there is a positive so it’s 1 to 1 (1:1)

    that’s the bottom line and this is all a rock will every go through… yeah but hold on

    right? but we, conscious humans, have the ability to laugh at things even if they are bad. In reality, things aren’t funny, they just are. Moments in elevators aren’t awkward, they just are. But WE give them more meaning, we make them funny, or beautiful or whatever

    this is why being alive is a gift. because the ratio of good to bad is still 1:1 but when we learn and laugh at mistakes, it seems more like 2:1 and when we see beauty in things that just are it becomes 3:1 and so on

    I want more people to see life in a good way. Some people might think I am lying to myself or just being optimistic but you can’t deny that logic i explained above right? it makes sense!

    That is why life is what you make it- because WE make life funny, or sad. WE make life funny or awkward. We learn from mistakes or just regret them. So, choose which you want.

    this is why when we are optimistic it becomes your reality, and when you are pessimistic it becomes your reality

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