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Posted by on 2021/01/11 under Life

today I felt so numb. I don't know what I'd do without her yet she still tries to leave me. I want her to stay but the pain is too much for her sometimes. if she left me I'd cry but I'd understand. I want her to stay but that's not up to me. different subject. people show me why I'm better of by myself. you are toxic for me but my heart is aching for you. nvm=you should have listened when I was talking to you. I saw you at your worst, I still loved you. I've changed myself so much for you, I'm losing you. dear someone, I'm never giving up on you. I've fallen so deep in love with you, I don't think I can get out of it. I'm so private my own family barely knows me. don't fall in love, fall of a bridge, it hurts less. honestly, if I can take all your pain just to make you happy I'd do it in a heartbeat. sometimes we say goodbye, just to hear someone tell us to stay. if you need me I'm here, if you don't I'm still here. faking a smile is so much easier than explaining why you are sad. I asked God to remove all the toxic people from my life and I started losing my main ones. I have that one person that is always on my mind. I pray my friends get through battles they don't tell me about. I still remember the feeling I felt when I first started talking to you. people who truly love can't move on easily. people love to say 'I know how you feel' like no you don't. I miss being a kid, no stress no sadness and no overthinking. I'm such a nits okay and suffer in silence. you call me stupid? I fake a smile everyday and you believe it. your smile changes my whole mood. I should have hugged you tighter the last time I saw you. nothing worse than flashbacks of what broke you. last year I lost failed laughed smiled but above all I learned. do you ever feel like your not even friends with your friends? ever get those moods where you don't know who you are or feel anything? I'm glad some friendships ended and I say that with confidence. I passed my hardest moments alone when everyone thought I was fine. just because I handle the pain doesn't mean I deserve it. cant tell if I need a hug or need to get hit by a car. I never fake tears so when it falls I am really hurt. I got trust issues because people got lying issues. if I'm pausing doctor who to text you back you better feel lucky. revenge? ha I'm just gonna sit here and let karma mess you up. my anger turns to tears and that's one of the worst traits I have. the most painful goodbyes are the ones unexplained. nah I didn't change I just realised I was being treated poorly. if I didn't care I wouldn't have stuck around this long. hate it when people change their actions depending on who's around.i would say I'm okay but I'm done lying.

3 thoughts on “idk

  1. Anonymous says:

    Leave her and dont look back bro, there are pleanty of kunts out there and most will be better than that peice of crap that put u on the emotional roller coster free ride.

    Shes obvusly sucking the life out of you and using you.

  2. Anonymous says:

    just dont make the same mistake twice… girls grow up based on deception and fake illusion to grab their free ride, then change on a dime once they have you hooked.

    Like now.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thank you for the feedback will do it right now I appreciate it.

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