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Posted by on 2020/06/12 under Life

It's easy to be frightened by people. You never know true intentions and they often lie, the ones that say that they don't usually do. There are people that somehow justify their actions by small wrongs that are done to them. Other's pick and choose who is beneath them or who is worthy of care or a particular treatment. Some are just following others, sick enough they don't have minds of their own. I guess I wouldn't take advice nor should it be given by someone so sinister that picks and chooses who's feelings and emotional state is important or not. Picking and abusing, trying to break them. Stalking them, making them feel crazy, coming into their place of sanctuary, pushing them to self harm. You tormented me at one of my lowest points. Mentally and emotionally drained and only reaching out you took an opportunity to push me lower. And for what? Because I searched you a few times on social media. What you have done and did was unforgivable. But I forgive and I won't push charges. Not because I am weak but because I understand that we all make mistakes. People often act victimized and call out wolf but the true victims often don't realize they are just that, victims. It's probably because if you feel in a vulnerable place throughout life it's hard to look in at yourself as a victim. It makes you feel weak and when all you have left to do is be strong for yourself the last thing you want is to feel weak.

Everything that I went through all the sexual abuse, the neglect, the physical abuse by step parents, the mental and emotional abuse by parents I never once stopped to say that I was a victim. Now I don't know when I am one. You probably don't know what that's like. I have to relearn to put myself first and think of myself as a whole person not just a role. But truthfully deep down I am not weak. If anyone held open their hand at desperate times and asked for help I would be there, no matter who they were, no questions asked.

People frighten me because I have seen mainly bad people. The actions of these people are often loud and clear. If this treatment continues I have been instructed by professionals to go to authorities.

3 thoughts on “Fear of people

  1. me says:

    Please take proper care of yourself, you come first give priority to yourself first.

  2. Anonymous says:

    That’s what I keep hearing.
    I am going to counseling, that is for me. I also am trying to help myself, so that’s for me.
    I think that I take proper care of myself but it can become difficult to help yourself mentally seeing that I’m not a professional. There’s progress made, I think, maybe.

    Thanks! You too.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Kinda late, but I think your on the right track. As someone who is also afraid of people especially guys, (probably not as severe as you though) I hope you’re doing well. People will be scary, but no one’s just good or bad they’re a mix of both. For toxic person there’s a good one I’m sure

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