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Posted by on 2020/04/21 under Life

When you want to control everyone or everything, do you ever stop and look inside and see maybe there is some reason to why you do this. Maybe you feel out of control.
When your judgements are overly judgmental, but at the same time you don't want anyone to judge you is there something wrong with that?
When you mock others for them being themselves yet you can't dare take a reality check, who is then the joke?
Do you care or does it just make you feel better about yourself to put on an act as if you care. Are you now the better person?
With that being said, why do you feel that there is something to prove to yourself, others, someone you think is watching. What's that? Oh, okay, now you're a good person, you genuinely care about people. Peoples feelings, wellbeing, misfortune. If it helps you to help others are you caring?
Maybe it is just for them. What if they are not thankful? They could be a selfish, shallow, b****. Wallowing in their self-pity and depression.
Another topic… honesty
If you can't be honest with yourself, then how can you be honest with anyone that is in your life or around you at any given time. If you have every excuse in the book to why you did something, then you truly don't think you did anything wrong. Maybe you didn't. Now that I'm learning more about choices and how they just don't matter in the end. Then be truthful with oneself. Why? Because life's a pointless joke. Why hold back with lies and excuses. Be you! Completely complicated, messy, unapologetic you. Maybe that's just you… Being dishonest. Then we will need to accept you.You want me to open up, you want me to tell you things about me. Why? So you can roll your eyes and whisper something under your breath.?
Smile as I walk away.

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