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Posted by on 2020/04/14 under Life

What the f*** am I doing here?

I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I feel like my life has no purpose.
I just feel extremely sad. Its not a constant feeling but its present enough to be a little concerning.
I can't imagine a future for myself. I'm in college as a junior with a degree that I'm starting to get nervous about. I'm majoring in film. I worry that I'm not going to get a job. Hell its hard to find a darn internship. Back in high-school I felt more active and motivated but now it feels like if I put in effort it feels like a waste. Like what is this actually doing for me. Theres a lot of reasons why i feel the way I do. I don't have a lot of friends.thats my bad I'm not social. Family's a mess rignt now. Hell I can't even work at my part time job cause Corona made them close temporarily.
There are things I wanna do but I can't or won't or I shouldn't or I couldn't. To be honest I don't know what I want anymore.

I think I'm trapped and I'm just now realizing it and its terrifies me.
What the f*** can i do?
I'm actually really scared.

One thought on “Really.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Learn to let go. If you want to travel, then f***ing travel. If you want to take a road trip, take it. Life will not always be here. It is too short for you to waste it on things you don’t enjoy. Do what you love. If you don’t 100% love what you are doing now, then don’t do it. I like to think that when I am older and in college, or wherever I go after high school, I will know what to do in my life. I have always been direct. If college isn’t right for you, I trust you smart enough not to do it. Let all your decisions be done with the love and anticipation of passion. God, if you want to leave your family and travel Europe, do it. Before it’s too late. Live in the moment. When something doesn’t feel right, you know what to do.

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