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Posted by on 2019/09/16 under Life

my problem may sound very silly. but i could really use some help now. i aspire to be a writer one day and that's why i chose BA English. I failed my 12th due to various problems that prevailed in my home. i took a gap year and then i joined college. i worked really hard and i used to stress myself out during exams. the result was good. i scored first in all four semesters.i made my mom really proud. i don't know whether it's because i failed , but i became obsessed with marks. i used to stress myself to complete my portions 100% for every exam.now i am in my final year.i fell sick as i didn't take good care of me . i got ulcer. i didn't college for 19 days. i missed my first internals.during this time i realized i am losing touch of who i am by stressing myself out to be perfect. i love reading. but its been five months since i read a good book. i started seeing reading as work. not just that i also have poor eating and sleeping habits. i want change myself. i want to be who i am . i also realized i care so much about what others think of me. Now i have got my second internals in a week. i missed lot of classes so i don't know my portions to prepare. and all my major papers are tough this time. friends ? lets just say they're glad i missed out a lot of classes. that's how it really is. they hang out and all but when it comes to marks. they're not friends. i am procrastinating everything. i keep sulking and complaining. sometimes i just want to take a nap and never do anything. how do i deal with all this? is it okay if i don't score first this time ? does it matter if i lose marks this time just to get my real self back ? how do i come out of this phase? does this phase happen to everyone ? does others opinion really matter in my life ?

One thought on “help me

  1. Anonymous says:

    You really need to be careful of how you apply your priorities, grades are achievements of intellect only, not reality. Sure mommy and daddy bought you an ice cream cone for making good grades in high school, but you are in college now… real world. While you should always try to excel, it will never be appreciated as you just have to remember, there are 100~ other 4.0 before and after you, (just like you) in the same building and I doubt we are talking MIT, Harvard or Yale. If so…. I will step down and you can bash me.

    Take it from a 55 year old who has the same criteria as you proclaim above. Sure walking down the isle at graduation with a few honor ropes and sashes around you neck makes you look “or says” you’re Einstein, but remember… he had trouble with his own shoe laces. Probably how he discovered E-MC2 as it was a mass or mess.

    GPA’s don’t mean squat on a resume, its who you know that lands the job. Want to be a writer or a journalist? You don’t have to have a BS or PHD to write a book in many cases, unless its some scientific, cited or other work. Fiction, just go at it, or if its something you are good at. Journalist.. well that’s a different color of horse. Ever see those typo’s on national TV broadcast? Bet they had a PHD and was “under paid” and on a 5 minute deadline… Either that or BS’ed their way into the job and PHD’ed it. (Piled Higher and Deeper).. lol

    I never landed my first job based on my 3.4 GPA college graudumate duh-gree. Even had the choice of wearing the honor sash and tail feathers (but didn’t) as I knew even then it does little. I dont even think it would make a good dog rope, and I dare anyone to wear one to a job interview…. who wast that old guy wearing the Honor sash? you know the 200th one out of 1500 who did the duck walk. ummmmm ? Oh well! She looks hot, lets hire her.

    Looking back, I freaked over test, but tested 2nd highest in the class on capstones, and even begged one professor to allow open book test I was so stressed. He never allowed open book test in his whole career; yet I made the request in such an honorable way, he allowed it. Funny, I never opened my book during/ until I finished the test. I missed one question and took a 99. But due to the others who had such low grades, he put everyone on a curve and I ended up with an A+.

    No one cares about the grades but you! Fail a test and see if the world cracks in half and comes to an end. NOPE! If your on grants or scholarships, maybe you don’t want to do that! LOL. Anywho….

    Keep up the good work but realize that grades don’t make the person intelligent, smarts and common sense do.

    It’s hard to break from the routine I know, but you will reach that breaking point and say F- it at some point and then realize that I was right. Either that or experience burn-out. Just dont do like I did and try to take 22 credit hours in one semester and hold down a job and have a family of 4.

    Good luck!

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