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Posted by on 2018/12/05 under Life

Do you know how it's like when life is simply to fast and you are desperately trying to catch up?

I always feel like I'm way behind. One task follows the other. Responsibilities pile up more and more and I don't feel like I'm able to keep up.

People come to me and give me important tasks to finish. They believe that I'm capable to be succesful and to manage to finish everything satisfactorily. And yeah, I do. But then even before I'm able to finish it they give me the next task. I finish the first while I'm already on the second one.

And I doesn't end. One task after another. Til now I manage to do it, but I am terrified of the point when everything becomes to much.

I already gave up the voluntary position of a chairwoman in a club I'm part of my whole life at the beginning of this year in hope of reducing the pressure I'm under. But so many people at work or in my private life come to me because they want to give me more responsibilty.

I just feel like I am slowly sinking under water. And I don't want it. I'm honored that they think I can do it and that they trust me. Most of the time I can do it, but I am also scared that it will be too much at some point.

I try to take care of myself, by saying no when somebody wants to add anything more, but sometimes (if its regarding my job) I can't refuse.

Sometime everything seems to crash down on me. Sometimes my life is just to fast for me. And I try to slow it down a little. It just doesn't always work that way.

I just want to feel like I finished everything I needed, so I can take a deep breath. Just to be free of everything because the task is solved. To be content with having no tasks for a moment. Allowing myself to recharge to be able to start new things.

I do need to feel productive. And I like accomplish things. I don't think I would be happy when I stop helping others. When I would stop creating things, building a future and shape the present to be as good as it can be.

I just don't know what to do when I reach the point when everything becomes to much.

Can you relate?

3 thoughts on “too fast….

  1. Anonymous says:

    In Hamlet supposedly there’s some line about time being out of joint. This is what it sounds like our lives are trying to tell us. Our deaths, rather. Time is out of joint and there is nothing we can do. We are like the parachuter who jumps out of the plane thinking the parachute is going to flap out but nothing happens and we, as slowly as possible, fly down to our deaths. Second third fourth and fifth deaths for some of us. So forth.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Awwww….Mrs.Strong Independent Woman Power Professional Business Woman is now complaining about how hard her job is now?

    Women are brought up with that dream of an easy life, spread the legs, get knocked up, have a baby, lock the man into a lifetime of financial caring for the wifey and child or else the wife gets free money from child support. Mean while she dates 3 other (super rich) guys and takes a job standing in front of a cash register tossing her hair and complaining about stomach cramps.

    I know Ill go to school and get a business woman degree, so I can have an easy life and make lots of money!

    Therese actual work that has to be done, and looks and all the make up in the world will not pay the bills. Wearing the sexy under garments might make you feel sexy and good about yourself, but it does not mean you are good at what you do.

  3. Thoughtless says:

    Ouch, that was quite a slap of judgment right there.

    Sorry to disappoint. But I’m not some power hungry b****, who thinks that life drops gifts at you just because…

    Actually, I think it shouldn’t matter if you are a woman or a man. Regardless to gender everybody has to earn the things they deserve with hard work.

    I’ve never taken the easy way and stayed true to my principles, even though it might have brought me further if I didn’t. I feel better when I can be honest and help others rather than to exploit them. I do know how it feels like to be on the receiving end of that.
    I do respect myself too much to do that and hurt others in the process. I think if something was just dropped into my lap by someone else it would be worthless anyway.

    I have been unemployed for many years – and no I didn’t go out to look for some sugar daddy to solve that problem. I was blessed to have my family, which helped me to pay my living costs. And yeah, I did pay them back after I got a new job. I took minimum wage jobs and worked for temp agencies. Only to lose those jobs again as well.

    The one thing that helped me not to lose faith in that time, was volunteering to do the organizational work in the club. It’s a hobby orchestra I’ve been part of for more than 25 years now. It was that one constant in my life, that nobody could take from me. It’s nice to be part of a community and be able to achieve things together.
    “voluntary position of a chairwoman in a club” might sound entitled – It wasn’t meant to be. English isn’t my first language and there is no direct translation for the word I actually wanted to use. Therefore, I just tried to describe it. Sorry, if it triggered something in you.
    Basically, it meant that I had to deal with all the organizational s*** that comes your way when you are dealing with organizing gigs for musicians.

    Doing that work helped me to grow as a person, to learn that it means once you take any position with responsibly there are always those who criticize you. It made me understand that others don’t dictate your self-worth. And that the way others handle themselves to get through life has nothing to do with the choices you make for yourself.

    And I also know that EVERYBODY has his or her package to deal with. Life isn’t easy – Nobody said it was.

    I have debts, I have struggled to pay my bills, I have lost loved ones. I have failed at goals I tried to reach. And sorry to bust that bubble, but I don’t have “Barbie”-Looks and would never try to seduce someone by wearing sexy underwear. (Please insert jokes about ugly women here.)

    Some people might say that I’m a plain nobody. But I’m okay with myself and I’ve earned that understanding with years of battling my insecurity. I’m not perfect and I never claimed to be.

    I‘ m not a “Strong Independent Woman Power Professional Business Woman”. I’m just some employee at a middleclass company. Nowadays no job is guaranteed. All you can do is do your job as good as you can and hope that others further up in the company do understand that “human resources” are more than just numbers.

    I’m not sure what made you so angry and judgmental. Maybe someone failed and hurt you and venting your anger by slagging somebody helps you to feel better.

    Well, I prefer to try and lift others up, because I do know how it is to be beaten down. Oh, I’m no Mother Theresa ether. I can be egoistical as well. Sometimes everybody is. Mainly I try not to hurt others and live my life in a way that it has mattered once it ends.

    So why did I wrote the first comment in the first place. Yeah, maybe to complain a little about the fact that life can be overwhelming sometimes. Because I helps me to feel better to know that are others out there who might be living through something similar to what I’m feeling at the moment.

    @ the other Comment: I find it interesting that Shakespeare was describing something similar. I didn’t know that. I never read Hamlet. But he has a point. Time can run pretty fast and it only goes forward. There is nothing we can do to stop it. And we do know where it ultimately ends. Well that guy died over 400 years ago and his message still matters and is able to reach beyond time. Quite an accomplishment. I doubt he knew back then how he would be remembered. Back in his time he was perceived as an uneducated man.
    Well, sometimes when we come across some idea or information were just not able to comprehend its message for us.

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