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Posted by on 2018/11/07 under Life

All right, to start im a female age 15 and I suffer from anxiety, depression, hybristophilia and way more that I cant even remember the names of. All I know is that im a very violent, cruel person. To start with my self image issues, I have an eating disorder and I am 5'1 and 200 lbs. I have short reddish brown hair that was a undercut for 3 years until I finally decided to grow it back out, now its currently awkward shortish almost chin length and I have an scene/emo hair style. Btw ive dyed my hair every exotic and natural color in the book so my hair is slowly recovering. Also to just finish an idea of my appearance I have black gauges in and a nose piercing which I did myself. okay, so im guessing you can see why im self conscious. well this is one of the many things whiched caused me to be homeschooled and almost arrested. Okay the next part will be sensitive to some audience so if your easily offended please do not continue reading. So for almost a year now I have been massively interested in true crime. for example I look up to the columbine shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. I look up to them and have sympathy for them because ive been thru the same things they have and think the same ways they did. I love them to death. Also I often comtemplate suicide, serial and mass murder. its hard to explain why but I feel like lots of people deserve whats coming to them. Also Jeffrey Dahmer, He was a man with horrible mental illness. But the dumbass jury found him sane, Ridiculous. I feel bad for him too. He was a sweet heart. and no, I don't feel this way to all criminals, I feel like this because I feel similarly. OOF Now everyone thinks im crazy. Also I have problems with selfharm and such….. well that's some things I needed to get off my chest.

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