Posted by Anonymous on 2018/07/31 under Life I'm almost 40 years old..Have a 3 year old son. Been married for almost 5 years. I'm indian – born and raised in this country. the man i married turned I married I thought was a great guy when we were dating. He was kind, considerate to me, my family, my friends…We got married and i found he is very selfish…puts me down that i don't make enough earnings. Is terrible with my family. So disrespectable. Won't even talk to them properly. He's expects me to do everything around the house but on his terms. I cna;t go visit my parents or family with my son, unless i have his permission to take him. It's very suffocating. All the rules are on his terms. I'm so so sad. I feel like i cna;t talk to him about any issues or problems or hurt feelings i have. He turns them around on me and makes me feel like I am the bad guy. Sometimes I feel he thinks I'm not a good mom. It's just a lot of hurt feelings. I wish I never married him. I wish I could somehow get out of this – but I would feel terrible about my son having a broken family. & i would be scared that my husband would fight for sole custody and I would not see my son. My son is my world. I wish I had married someone who had less hangups and was more considerate and understanding…like he was when we were dating. I wished I saw this side of him so I would have never taken this step and destroyed my happiness. I used to be sucha happy person. ALl i do is feel sad and cry most nights or days when no one is around…it's such a terrible space to be in. How can one person make you feel so miserable about yourself.
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I am so sorry that you are in this situation. Please don’t blame yourself for some one else’s behavior. Sometimes we build an image of a person in our head and don’t realize till late that that person is not the same anymore. But don’t feel defeated. You are STRONG. You can fight and hold your ground. You don’t have to live on his terms. I am not saying to leave him, but live your life your way. Go where you want to and do what makes you happy. He cannot hurt you with his words. Ignore them. If he does anything worse, then you SHOULD LEAVE. Trust me, you don’t want your son living near and idolizing such a man. He is better off without him. I hope you have family/financial support. If you don’t, then start saving just as a back up. Take care! I am praying for you!