Posted by Anonymous on 2018/02/23 under Life I'm so fake, I'm fake about everything… My mom says "I want you to be the good kid you were before" she doesn't realise. I'm not a child that she can control. All this time this goody two shoe act was fake. I wasn't an innocent little kid I was the least innocent to say.. every other kid was too… Any chance she gets to touch my phone for example to show a picture, In the end she ends up reading all my texts and messages…I don't think she's entitled to read them. I'm entitled to my own privacy…Last year was the worst year of my life..there were two teachers.. which pratically bullied me. Making fun of me and poking all the insults they could say really loudly infront of the whole class. They didn't say my name but it was directed to me. They snickered at me and during that year my parents also had a lot of fights. My father is physically and emotionally abusive towards me… every since I was a little child. Just recently my older sister attempted suicide. I can't say anything about this to anyone. I can't even describe how I feel even though I'm writing. I told my parents about my dreams, in the end they made fun of me and told me how I wasn't good enough over and over again. My mother always acts like a victim towards my father which leads him into more anger. My mother used to be an alcoholic the only memories that I clearly remember of my childhood were my parents fights screaming and breaking things. My mother had always compared me to others and had always told me I was stupid. Once when I was in 3rd grade she was drinking and told me over and over again how I was dumb and stupid and told me to say it to myself… My whole life is a fake I just want to die… I never get any good birthday wishes. Every single birthday Is a fight with my parents about how horrible I am…. I remember how once in 1st grade I was excited for my birthday and the first thing I heard in the morning was my mother screaming at me and raging telling me to go to tennis practice. After that we didn't do anything at all. There are so many things I can go on and on about my birthdays… I'll leave this to another day. My mother is furious
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I am so sorry to hear all that you have had to go through. I cannot imagine how tough it must be but know that there will come a time when you can just leave and live the life you want to. Sometimes parents just aren’t equipped to be parents. They get so mixed up in their own egoistical fights and forget/ignore the consequences. I wish I could hug you right now. Stay strong. If they are beyond reasoning, then focus on other stuff. Shut them out. That was what I used to do. I would go into my room and daydream to block the noise. Know that you are not alone. Just remember in a few years you will be able to leave and have a life you deserve.