Posted by Anonymous on 2017/11/30 under Life and just like that, its back. that feeling of insecurity, the black cloud, reasons to want to disappear. questioning everything… do they only want sex? why do they even bother? do they care? would they care if you just disappeared? then you answer of course, they take what they want because you let them, its your fault, it always has been, no they wont care, youre replaceable. but they always come back? of course. becuase youre easy and they’re bored. It’s funny how things work, you have these moments when you’re really ok. You’re doing fine. Everything is great. And like light switch it happens. You’re not ok, you’re not good enough, those good moments are fake, you feel like that becuase they want you to feel ok, they want you to be ok so they can do what they want. Here’s the thing about those great moments… they end. The ones who make you feel safe leave, ignore you, you ask for help and they do… but only when they’re bored. You don’t matter. Do you honestly think that they’d be there to help you? You ask anyways. Time and time again you try to just get let down. There’s that feeling. The urge to want to take something or do something to not feel, to not care, to not remember, and to just not exist.
2 thoughts on “Life”
Leave a Reply Cancel reply
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Sometimes, its not need help from others that we need, its actually the will to help ourselves on our own. We have to value ourselves, which is goddamn hard to be honest.
You are right. I struggle with it, too. I’m always hard on myself. And because of that,I make everything even worse.
I found an interesting Quote that fits here:
“Be nice to yourself. Its hard to be happy when someone is mean to you all the time.” Christine Arylo