s*** i got my wife pregnant. i was mad and horny and my girlfriend was pissing me off so i wanted to have sex but i wanted it to be safe and clean but anyway, didn't know my wife wasn't taking her pills, we hadn't f***ed in months, anyway now she is pregnant and i hate my girlfriend because of it. now it's gonna cost me more time and more money when times comes to leave it behind. friends say i should take responsibility for my actions, i really didn't have to f*** her, i knew better, but somehow i am filled with rage i wanna smash my now ex girlfriend in the face and i don't wish her happiness or joy because i am suffering so much, even though now my baby is born, i know, i should be grateful. .. but somehow it's so hard to get past all these feelings, i am always hanging in the past, not sure what to do.
and i will admit, my ex girlfriend must have felt bad because she stuck through even when i withheld my love, and treated her like s*** like slowly because i wanted to cause her so much pain, and even though i hurt her i felt satisfaction and i knew that she was just trying to help me get better, because she did feel some kind of responsible for hurting me and well… nothing good she did helped. i want to seriously hurt her. god help me and help these feelings, i feel so guilty for feeling this way.
WHY NOT CHERISH YOUR KIDS AND TAKE YOUR TIME, BE WITH FRIENDS, BE ABOUT CULTIVATING HEALTH AND GOOD STATE, THEN DIVORCE YOUR WIFE. THERE ARE LOTS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO ARE DIVORCED AND THEIR KIDS TURNED OUT ALRIGHT. AND MONEY COMES AND GOES. TRY TO BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY AND CONTROL FOR YOUR LIFE, GO SEEK A PRIEST, OR SOME OTHER FIGURE WHO MAY HELP WITH YOUR DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES. EVERYONE DESERVES A GOOD LIFE.