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Posted by on 2017/10/13 under Life

i was lost like i didn't even want to be in a relationship anymore, i felt like i had messed up so much that i wanted to get away from it all, i figured that i had a lot of inner work to do and i didn't know where to begin but i knew that i had to act and act fast. i felt like some of my old structures were falling apart, crumbling at my feet, that's when he walked in.letting him in was my responsibility. well for one, i think i didn't see that i had his picture on my wall a few times in the past and that i adored that he was an avid speaker of animals in few of the school gathering. so him approaching me was kinda weird at first but i figured that no harm would come out of friendship. i didn't see the connections then. why he had to boast about "being a d***" to his friend. i was worried that i was making a mistake but i always had a habit of pushing aside how i felt, knowing that i needed to work on myself and make myself better, and having the benefit of doubt for someone who did not mean any harm to me. i also figured that people come from all kinds of backgrounds and no matter how similar we maybe, there are also things that are different. i respect that about people because it teaches me different points of view. but of course there were also a lot of cabal symbolism that were happening. like he was part of some secret society that were prompting him to be a certain way for a certain outcome, even though he had to drag some innocent people in it for credibility sake. i wasn't sure if i should have spoken up then, i didn't want to risk my position at work as well as our friendship. but he started to do things that were similar to another person who i came across with a few years back who was doing some very questionable things. let's just say that i'd really prefer never to have met that person at all. in fact, i consider him as a complete stranger, just so i can respect the fact that we all choose the paths we walk on and that's what he chooses to do and that's fine. but these similarities were in fact in some way too loud that were hard to ignore. i decided to walk away from the idea and the fact that our friendship was merely a setup to get me to quit my position at work. it freaked me out because i was working pretty hard right up to this point. and now he won't stop calling me, messaging me in private while in public, he's all cool and nonchalant. and he's also accusing me of stealing his work whereas there's nothing that was stolen. but i felt like perhaps this was a great time to allow myself to at least take ground from where i was on. and the responsibility that came with it was to accept him as he was. in fact, it's this very thing that helps me understand human nature. and allow everyone to choose their own paths. even though some will disagree and point fingers at me, i know that sooner or later, people will have to face with what's truly in their hearts, and sooner or later, they will be forced to make peace with themselves. i try not to be a savior or their savior in fact, moving out of the way ends up being the most noble thing i have. i write this to announce that i wrote some people off forever. and this message is going to be spoken only once and for all.

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