Posted by Anonymous on 2017/09/26 under Life SO, I'm in college. I have to see and speak to a lot of women in my day-to-day, I think the male:female ratio where I'm going is something like 1:5 so it's rare that in group work or group discussion that there's a group of all guys let alone that I'm in it. I have no choice to speak to and work with the opposite sex, not that I'm opposed to that. I am a straight male after all. And with that I can transition into the beef of my…thesis I'd guess you'd call this.
I'm a generally accepting and forgiving guy I'd like to think. I get mad easy, but it never takes long for me to bounce back and forgive. I also like to think that I find a relatively wide range of body types/shapes and faces attractive compared to what most men I think realistically look for. I say "realistically" because contrary to popular belief men do not find classically ugly women attractive now, and they never will no matter what changes in the times people perceive, there's a reason you don't see mildly attractive men are at least normal looking men dating women who are overweight (be they chubby or obese), have nasty and/or severely crooked teeth, have acne all over their face, have strong or square jaws (because that's a distinctive masculine feature), or who have a saggy body or obvious jelly rolls (that’s the difference between a woman who is naturally thick and a woman who is lazy). That's just a reality that we as a society need to accept; if you aren't attractive outwardly that's unfortunate, and the "appearances don't determine intelligence" thing is bulls***, because they kinda do.
I find the nerdy girls(and boys) in high school that we all think of when we talk about the kids who were losers or ugly could be outwardly attractive if they just tried to be or knew how to. The reason the hot chicks in high school were typically not nearly as bright is because their natural appearance tis all they've got going for them (so they dedicate more time to maintaining it and improving it), which was seen as an easy target in primitive societies because stupid, skinny "skanks" don't have the strength or ingenuity to resist so they're conditioned by their peers to be submissive as a self preservation tactic, thus the reason hormonal immature teens find them attractive. In high school I saw a lot of friends turn to drugs or dropout and work at fast food places, and some even died with depression caused by their own stupidity. Do you know what a common trend I found occurred among these poor souls who didn’t make it to graduation or quit halfway to become drug dealers or parasites leaching off their parents? They liked or tended to date skinny girls with small tits that smoked, drank, did drugs or were just airheads (saying stupid things in the realm of “I’m bisexual because I like it” first of all, no you’re not, you’re a teenager with raging just now functional ovaries and your hormones are telling you to do and say anything that will make boys around you want you, and you’ve chosen the tactic of trying to being the “freak”, in the grown up world they’re called “sluts”). One of those friends told me “because that's just disgusting, all those stretch marks and it’s just fat you know…” and my response was “Yeah it’s fat, but it’s also tissue, and mammary glands that she’ll use to feed my newly born children if we have them. Big tits produce more milk, my sister-in-law is a perfect example of that; her boobs were huge and then she gave birth and she’s making enough milk to keep the baby fed at all times of the day and still have enough left over to donate to the breast milk bank. And stretch marks? What kind of macromastia/fake-tiddies are you looking at in your free time?” Granted a woman doesn’t NEED to make that much milk, but big tits before pregnancy is a sign that she’ll probably be able to produce enough to keep the baby healthy into toddlerhood.
Ugly, underweight, and overweight women just aren’t attractive that's the harsh reality. And most of the time it’s their own fault for not taking care of themselves, and that type of stupidity is inherited sorry to say. It's not misogynistic, it's biology; men subconsciously are attracted to women with better genes, which are typically associated with the traits we might call classically beautiful. To give you a modern day example, the trend "thick thighs save lives" in which men are attracted to women with full and shapely thighs and hips has a basis in science, it's a sign of higher evolution (stronger legs help you run from predators and move with less difficulty during pregnancy). SO I find a lot of women attractive because I generally associate sex appeal with outwardly visible signs of health and a good gene pool. I’m a generally accepting guy. Now I get to my main point. As I said, I meet a lot of attractive women everyday. And more and more of them I see are sporting nose rings. It hurts me mentally (not literally, but you get the idea) when I see this beautiful, well-rounded young woman of at least average intelligence if she isn’t above average wearing this nose ring or other tacky looking facial piercing. Now I have ADHD and a severe case of it (I even have a friend who thinks the vast majority of people who are diagnosed with it don’t actually have it and are undisciplined, and he points to me as a rare example of someone who actually does have it and needs the medication to put my intelligence to use), and I’m easily distracted, but I value meaningful and genuine conversation; I don’t like airheads, they’re boring because most of them are shallow and stupid. I think that eye contact is required for that when talking in person. And I find it an unreasonable expectation in a world where ADHD is on the rise (just look here https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201509/dramatic-rise-in-adhd-diagnoses) that I am to look you in the eyes when you’re wearing this unnatural shiny metal object less than two inches below them. Don’t tell me “hey my eyes are up here” in that scenario; because in that instance you’re the rude and insensitive one, I have ADHD sorry I have an attention problem that I cannot train myself out of. Cleavage (which mind you I am very attracted to, and most of my romantic and sexual fantasies involve my partner’s preferably sizable cleavage) I can deal with, it’s almost a foot below wear I’m trying to keep my attention. But nose rings, and just facial piercings in general make it hard for me to listen to what you have to say because they’re just distracting. I want to love and cherish my partner physically and for what she has to say, and since love is an action not a feeling I find it hard to love someone for what they have to say when they make it hard for me to listen with my full attention. I want to love her and I want to love her thoughts, and when I have a disability that makes me easily distracted she can’t effectively communicate her thoughts to me and I cannot effectively receive them when she’s wearing a nose ring.
I’m not saying that there’s no such thing as an appealing facial piercing, but I’ve never seen one. And what’s more is that she (the hypothetical girl mentioned above) isn’t necessarily stupid for wearing the nose ring, I just think she’s not matured or experienced enough to realize that it’s dumb, and it’s not as attractive and grown-up as she perceives it. I knew a couple a few years older than me who got married as hippy stereotypes, the girl wore a nose ring to her wedding; and five years later there is no semblance of the hippies they were getting married wearing a hemp shirt and jeans, and the woman doesn’t wear their nose ring or keep her hair in dreads, she just looks like a typical mother of three, and the man no longer lets his curly hair grow into an afro and just graduated medical school. I think this is because they grew up and realized that it makes them look immature like they need to prove how different they are from old people, and she doesn’t bring it up but she regrets wearing that nose ring during her wedding.
I know that I rambled, but I wrote this late at night and I wanted to post it asap since I typically don’t have this kind of time and probably wouldn’t be able to work on it anytime soon. Is there some kind of modern trend that you don’t find attractive or that you find particularly attractive? Could you explain why if you had to?