I hope I can find myself again. I thought I knew what I wanted out of life, but turns out life has no plans of giving it to me. Or maybe I need to do something to be deserving of it. I am in a new country, with new people. It's been two years and I still haven't made any friends. I feel isolated, alienated, lonely. The silence eats me sometimes. It all ends with the same question. What am I doing with my life? How the hell did I end up like this sad lonely person? I look in the mirror and I see so much emptiness. I feel bad for the man I have married. He did not ask for this. But what can I do now. Even I did not ask for this.
I am the same, I look in the mirror and just stare at this empty being. Why can’t I seem to find a purpose? Do I just go searching or wait for it to find me? Life gives simple answers, mostly. I don’t think this is a simple task.
The purpose of living is finding something that matters to you, and to live for it. To live is the most terrifying thing I can imagine, but I try and take it daily. In small doses focusing on the day will help me get through the week, get through the month, get through the year.