Posted by Anonymous on 2017/09/05 under Life I don't know why I am living. My whole life is a series of mistakes. I am with someone I don't know if I should be with. I make a fool of myself and am living for others happiness not my own. I want to change and discuss change but don't change. I look in the mirror to see a whore without a destination I should be striving for. I am in college but don't know what I want to do or be. I can't tell anyone I know because the truth is too much. I am aimlessly wandering through life instead of making a difference. I feel purposeless and stupid. I want to die but don't want to kill myself. I want to be free from myself. I don't cut but sometimes just claw at my skin with my nails as if I could pull my idiocy out. I don't want to hurt him and I love him but I know aren't compatible for life. I don't know why I can't just do what is right instead of thinking it over and over again. I want to run away. I want to be alone and disappear. I don't deserve love, happiness, or life, I waste it. God is good and I am not so I shouldn't be surprised if he leaves me here. I am empty. Sometimes I cry or have anxiety attacks but at the end of it all I have nothing. I push off the truth until I can't anymore. I feel trapped inside myself and its all my fault. None of you should know the truth but I want to tell someone. I don't even know why I wrote this. I am sorry. I let everyone down including myself.
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Hey i have had similar feelings when i was much younger. But i got out of it and i realize that im all i got in this world. I tried to make the best out of life and just seeing things differently made me want more out of life u still feel like s*** from time to time but i know it will get better. It will get better for you also keep your head up not down even when its tough and you feel like crap just know it gets BETTER. Cause you will make it BETTER.