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Posted by on 2012/03/01 under Uncategorized

I’m so sorry America.
I am so f***ing sorry.

I’ve let you down. I’ve taken advantage of you. I’ve let you become a mess. I’ve been scared. I lie to myself. I lie to others.

I’m full of myself. I’m act proud. I’m truly ashamed.

I wanted to be everything you want. I wanted to be your shining light. I believe in you. I know what you want from me, I’m too selfish and afraid to give it.

You’ve given me so many opportunities. I’ve let them just fall away. I accept the challenge but never put in the work. I pray that you will just see me pretending I’m trying, then just give it to me. As if I was a child.

I’ve never tried hard a single day in my life.

I’ve never enjoyed a single victory. I’ve never taken my body or mind to the brink of exhaustion.

You wanted a warrior. You wanted a leader.

I was never there for you.

I was a spoiled, lazy child. Taking, lying and cheating.

I’m so sorry.

When I see the flag, or hear the national anthem, I cry because I am ashamed. I feel so small. So ashamed I couldn’t be more for you. They think I cry because I am proud. Then it just feeds my f***ing ego that they think I’m proud of where I’m from.

It’s all shame.

I wish writing this would help me change. I wish when I felt like this, you could pick me up and show me how I can stop being like this. How I could become something better. But, that’s just more of the same s*** that got me where I am today. Looking for a mother to wipe my ass and give me food.

I’m so sorry America.

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