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Posted by on 2012/01/29 under Uncategorized

My mom went through my room. No, she didn’t do it to make sure I wasen’t doing drugs or anything like that, she just goes through my drawers and throws out anything that she thinks is trash. I lost thirteen perfect drawings, two pages of math notes, my favorite rock that was smooth to the touch. She also went through my cloths, apparently, she didn’t like the way I set it up, so she threatened to throw away all of them unless I fixed them how she wanted it to be. Its my room… Shouldn’t it be however I want it to be? Why won’t she stop with the insults? She calls me stupid, a mule could listen better than me, and I’m good for nothing. She calls me all those things, but I have the highest grades in my class and am going on to a magnet school, I can hear the whispered fights between her, my dad, and brother from my room, and I am not good for nothing dammit! I don’t argue of disagree with her because if I do, she’ll yell. I can’t stand the yelling…
For years YEARS, I’ve wanted her approval, to say ‘I’m proud of you and I love you.” But I’ve never heard those words and I don’t think I ever will.
All I want is someone to hold me close to them. I want someone to just hold me in their arms and let me cry like a baby. Tell me everything’s all right. I’ve thought about suicide before, but I’m too scared of pain and death.
I know every teenager says this, but no one understands me, no one can see though my fake smiles and cheer. Why won’t someone break my mask?

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