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Posted by on 2012/01/13 under Uncategorized

I wanna know why I was always the one who got left behind, forgotten and left alone, period. It’s always the same story, I feel. I mean, I can barely remember my childhood but I know I can’t remember it simply because of how many heart breaks I went through. Dealing with my parents divorce, watching my dad go off to war, dealing with my older half sister’s abuse. I always wished for some reason that I had a friend who would always be there for me. Someone who was there when I went through everything that was still with me to this day.I know it can’t happen now. I mean, i already went through everything. I lost all the people I once thought I’d never lose. What I don’t get is, why did everyone leave me? Is there something about me? Maybe it’s just everyone else. Nah, scratch that. I know it has to be something about me. It’s happened my whole life. The only people who haven’t fully walked out on me is my parents. I know they can’t be there 24/7, but still. I can’t talk to them whenever I need to and I can’t talk to them about certain things. I get lost into my own thoughts way too easily. Oh, well. Even if it’s something about me; what is that thing? Why can’t i keep someone by my side for a long period of time? I’ve always been the annoying, loud, obnoxious, one that no one likes. Yeah, I’ve been able to tell them f*** you, I’ma do me. Buuuut, in the end I come up hurt. Whether someone see’s it or not. Maybe I just try too hard. Eh, whatever. I just somehow can feel it in the deepest part of me that I’m going to die alone. It’s like I always have to depend on someone. No matter who it is.

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