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Posted by on 2011/11/29 under Uncategorized

im falling down an abyss that i wont be able to get out of. depression is a f***ed up thing. just sitting in my room thinking about things that happened today and i keep looking at my razor blade. i want the blade to run slowly across my wrists and ill love every second of it. im fine with dying because what is there to live for? ive given up and theres nothing that can change that. if i could i would slit my wrists right now and smear “f*** up” on the wall in my blood just so when my dad finds me hell know that thats why. he knows im a f*** up. he knows ill go no where if i could i would tie a rope around my neck look at myself in the mirror and drop. everytime i think about myself i think of the way to to kill myself. i think of the most f***ed up things like i wanna get 10000 paper cuts and get thrown into a big thing of salt so it can leak into my wounds. i dont know why i cut. maybe its to relieve stress. maybe i need to see my blood to get threw my day. who knows. maybe i do wanna die. maybe i do wanna blow my brains out with a gun. and im sorry to everyone im hurting with this. i wanna wrap my head in ceran wrap and slam it against the ground as i cant breathe. sometimes when i get up in the morning i look at myself in the mirror and wonder why im here? why the hell do i deserve to be here? what have i ever done for anyone other then hurt them? i cant wait till im dead.

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