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Posted by on 2014/08/12 under Uncategorized

I’m currently torn right now. so much has happened in the last few months and the more i think about it the more i hate myself. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. my grandmother died a while back and he last thing i said to her that i know she understood was that i hated her. but i didnt hate her for being mean to me or anything. it was because i hated her for doing that to me. for getting so ill that she could never come home. she only lived a couple days after that, dying in the hospital. i never told anyone what happened or how i felt but i hated her more later on for leaving me because i missed her and still do. she was who i could talk to. who knew me better than anyone. i know i shouldnt have hated her for it.i even asked for her to go because she was in so much pain ad i couldnt stand seeing her like that.

ive also been with my current boyfriend for a while. and the more im with him. i feels like he still is in love with his ex. i know he doesnt love me and i dont love him. i cre alot for him. but i think he should have waited before he came to me. i know he even downgraded coming to me. she was georgous. im not even adverage i dont think. even though he says im pretty i cant believe it. not after seing who he was with. i just needed to get all of this out. ive held it in to long.
#grandparent, #BOYFRIEND, #REASONS

One thought on “I’m depressed

  1. Anonymous says:

    I had a grandmother that I loved very much, too. She died in a car accident. It took me years to get past that. I miss her all of the time. I know she is in a better place and happy, at least content.
    You have to forgive yourself of saying it. I am sure she knows how it was meant. If you two had a bond, she knows and would want you to leave it behind you and be happy.
    No matter what the reason is that you and your boyfriend came together or where the two of you might or might not be going remember for yourself…you are a special person, you are unique and you have a purpose in this life. Find some sort of faith to latch onto and let it help you through your difficult times. Maybe it is something you can take from your grandmother but having that faith can mean so much.

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