Love Work Family Friends Games Kids Life

Posted by on 2014/08/11 under Uncategorized

The future is what scares me. Well I wouldn’t call it scared but very overwhelming, I hate the feeling of not knowing. With this subject I go into my love life. My boyfriend is an amazing person and has a lot going for him. I’m very lucky that he even puts up with me most of the time but then again idk if he even really knows how f***ed up I am I’m the head. When you love someone a lot you put their happiness before yours. At the same time I’ve dealt with being second best all my life and it feels like I still am. It’s fair though, sports was there way before I got into the picture so yeah. But I don’t think he understands the extent of my love for him he says he does but I just don’t think he does. I mean honestly he’s the reason why I’m continuing to push, I feel like if it wasn’t for him I would have tried to kill myself a long time ago. He seems to be that light at the end of the tunnel for me but still. I just think that no one truly understands me, they say they do but they don’t. I can say that these are my worst battles, the ones I have everyday with myself. I pray and a lot of things have gotten better compared to how they used to be but at the same time a different demon just replaced the old one. I feel mentally worn out. Idk, I have no clue as to what is wrong with me. I don’t know why I have to find solace in other pple and I can’t find it in myself. I don’t know why I have my unjustifiable fits of emotion. It’s just the way I seem to be programmed but I’m trying to fix it, I really am. Trying to fix my mind and my attitude is tough but you can only try for so long before breaking.

Leave a Reply

Name and Mail are optional. Your email address is however required if you want to subscribe to the comments (see below)

This site uses User Verification plugin to reduce spam. See how your comment data is processed.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.