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Posted by on 2014/08/11 under Uncategorized

I guess I’m just writing to vent. I guess I needed to know that I’m not alone in having these empty feelings. The feeling of nothingness. The feeling of wanting to feel but it’s like your not capable. You can only fake smiles and laughter for so long. I’m way overdue for a nervous breakdown, I can definitely feel it coming. I don’t even know what I’m continuing to be “Strong” for, I guess for everybody else. I’m not saying that I’m not happy just someone who is struggling with the thoughts that go on in my mind. I don’t like to play the victim but I am a victim. I’ve been treated so bad my whole life that I don’t know how it feels, well or maybe at times it doesn’t feel right to be treated right, or it’s simply something I’m not used to and I’m struggling with it. The main thought I always have is that everyone would be better off without me, but if course everyone else tells me different, but they never show me different. I feel the urge to cut from time to time but I don’t feel like going through the explanation process that no one wants to ever understand as to why I do it. I just really need to get back with a therapist, I’m just very overwhelmed at the moment. I just want my brain to be quiet. I pray that one day all these thoughts, negative thoughts will stop running through my head but when that’s all you know what else are you supposed to do?

2 thoughts on “Venting

  1. Muku says:

    Please don’t give up. Bad times will pass. Please try to consult a therapist for professional help. Remember that your health is the best resource. Please take good care of yourself. Do something you enjoy. It doesn’t need to be big project. Start small and slowly, gradually find your own way to wellbeing.

    1. ChloeB says:

      I’m really trying not to. With all the moving I’ve been doing for school it was hard to stay in contact with my therapist but I plan on finding another one when I get back to school. I used to enjoy a lot of things but now it seems like I put my joy and energy into pple and I just dnt know what to do with that.

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