Posted by Anonymous on 2014/08/11 under Uncategorized It is now 9:57 p.m., it has been another long and depressed day. The day was filled with fake laughter and fake smiles. Everyone is so happy and here I am crying and cutting myself. No one cares how I feel or why I feel that way. I’m a f***ing psycho to everyone because I enjoy cutting myself. Its not my fault. My depression is so sever that I stick myself with a needle and let myself bleed until I feel sleepy. OMG isn’t my life sad? I’m just tired of fighting with my mom and being used for sex and being treated like a piece of meat. I just want to take a gun and f***ing shoot myself in the mouth.
Please, don’t do that. I don’t even know you and I care whether you live or die.
I know how the depression can drag you down. All my crap built up till I tried hurting myself my senior year. Then I had attention from everybody and I didn’t want that either, not like that.
A year ago my grandpa killed himself. It has been difficult living with that. I don’t know where he went when his spirit let here. I’ve always been told you wouldn’t enter heaven for taking your own life. I am finding it hard to think that I won’t see him again.
Someone gave me a book for a graduation present, The Greatest Miracle In The World by Og Mandino. He wrote other good books. The words gave me faith. A faith that I can go to, to help me not go down that dark hole.
I know everyone is different and your faith can be whatever you need it to be. But, please remember, YOU are special and unique. You have a purpose in this life. Find that place inside yourself, it’s there, maybe just a glimmer but it is there. Maybe you can find this book I mentioned and try reading it. We need you here…hang in there. Too many people are on that pile of broken down, given up, never going to come back to life and be around the living. YOU matter because YOU are a special person.