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Posted by on 2014/08/06 under Uncategorized

you lost…I was lost…I am getting back on my feet. Step by step, how I did it?
after lots of days trying to pretend that everything was ok in work and coming back home wanting just a dark solitary place to lick my wounds, I started step by step, I decided to do things, to do the things I always wanted to do but I never had the time to learn or thought these would be too complicated and found out nothing is really that complicated once you learn it slowly.

I started painting again but this time with a different wave, I started listening to music that did not affect my mind without words like Ludovico Einaudi, I started making crafts like home made pastas and many other little things. I joined a super cheap dance class which is not really sticking on me as I find too static so I will join another one. I sit there and watch the world go by, I look outside at the birds or at nature and start from the smallest thing to the biggest thing amazement in the fact that I am alive, something I forgot to be thankful for because I gave for granted the fact that it’s such a big thing to be alive in this consciousness, it’s such a big thing that parts of my body interact without me thinking, that a fish has a personality as well as caterpillar, that once you start looking around you find many interesting little things if you turn your interest into them and maybe at the start you feel silly because you are looking at a fly but then you start to see how intricate it is and how it’s doing what we do i.e. live and then your days are not lame. Then the lame part is to deal with society and egos and fake smiles and over advertised slavery of mind body and soul. Don’t own a TV, watch good movies, try to be a better you but not by what friends or family says but from what is healthy and good to make you smile. Eat good food, make it yourself even if you don’t know how go in you tube you’ll find plenty of step by step things to do, it’ll taste soo good man, don’t go to supermarkets, try to find out how you can live without packaging, or cruelty free products – these will fill half of your emptiness because are everyday challenges that will make a change in you and long term in your surroundings. Learn to love yourself and don’t compare yourself to a fake billboard, it’s hard, very hard because we’ve been brainwashed but if you love yourself then you start to appreciate everything else for what it is i.e. the reality is if you look around there’s less than a 0% billboard people out there it’s just a big illusion that will make your existence crap for no reason. Write positive words, write silly stories use your imagination and don’t get carried away by what everyone does as sometimes is just a big illusion. Help and smile to people and avoid pricks, the people you surround yourself with are the ones that can make your day the best and the worst. Remember that sometimes you can be in a room full of people and feel alone and sometimes you can be alone and feel fulfilled. Choose wisely, being on your own sometimes is good to think and reflect on your actions not other people’s. Be real and learn the simplicity of being alive the way that suits you.

hope this helps…it helped me quite a bit, i am still struggling with some anxiety and stress but step by step I am picking up the pieces of this broken glass and putting them together the way they should be, my way in the good way humble and integral to what I think does not harm me and anyone around me.

2 thoughts on “start step by step

  1. Purple says:

    Thanks for writing this. I’m finding ways to get back on my feet too. Sometimes I just have to pause for a few moments amongst horrible panic and busy work. So I don’t totally lose my sense.

  2. Gandolf says:

    I may be going on some phase but all I know is that I hold very strong feelings for him. All I want is a second chance. God, if you give me another chance, I can’t promise to be obedient all the time, but I will try to be. You’ll see a difference.. I promise.

    I was never one to express my emotions. The only reason I’m writing this right now is because I’m anonymous and its 1:30 am and all I could think about is him. Sometimes I wonder if people have gone through the feelings I’m going through. I know that eventually they probably forgot about that certain person and moved on but… I just can’t shake this feeling that there’s a chance that I could be with him.

    …. I don’t even want to be with him. I mean.. I don’t care if we’re in a romantic relationship. All I want is to be someone important to him. Like a bestfriend… or a f*** buddy. I don’t know. Even if I had a chance to be with him, I have trouble trusting people and I get paranoid. I always think that I’m never going to be with anyone. Anyways, I’m just writing to get my feelings off. And if you ever read this Ben Minci.. I want you to know that at one point, you were considered the world to someone and I hope it makes your day better. Take a guess who I am.

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