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Posted by on 2014/08/06 under Uncategorized

I tear up whenever i see people are having fun or laughing. Im not jealous but I envy them.. In a good way. Its not that i cant laugh but sometimes you just need someone to share your laugh with. I mean,i just want to be happy is that too much to ask for?
I live in my room which literarily like prison to me. I just set all day long with my phone in my hand watching some mindless youtube videos hoping they gonna help me. I know this sounds dramatic but nobody knows what it feels until they live it. Its just frustrating that every single one of my “friends” are traveling all over the world and having fun and I’m just sitting here living the live of 70 year old women while I’m 21. (Friends means people that i have on twitter) Oh yeah, btw my bd is next month and I’m pretty sure nobody gives a s*** about it not even my family. I hate birthdays especially mine! I mean, its just so impressing seeing all those people celebrating their bds in every possible way and im just sitting here like its another normal, boring day. Even if i threw a party who would come? Im pretty sure i will blow my candles alone. The most painful part of my life is that i don’t have friends nor group that i can hang out with.
Isn’t it painful when you don’t live your age the right way?i mean, i live in the most horrible place in the whole word, Saudi Arabia. Where women do not have the right to be humans. Imagine that you’re living in a box that is inside a box that is inside a box. Yep. Exactly where am i Right now. College is starting next month and I’m already impressed that i don’t have friends there! Its my 4th year so it happens every year i mean, isn’t it crazy that NOBODY in the dam college wants to be my friend? Wow its just hit me everyday when i set alone and see people laughing with each other or studying i feel like i’m invisible. Trust me, Its like magic lol. Im not that cheesy type. its bigger than that trust me. emptiness is such a disses it can kill you.
If i ever had someone to talk to i wouldn’t be writing this i could talk endlessly but I’m not that talkative type.clearly lol! I don’t expect anyone to read this so yeah just gnna end up here.

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