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Posted by on 2014/08/05 under Uncategorized

My life ….. I thank god about my life and am glad 2 have the people that I have in my life . But after all that I feel incomplete , low self esteem , a lil bit of complexation . I alwayz feel like that if anything happens to me that the people I have in my life will forget fast that nobody will grief alot for me even the amount of people I meet seems to forget about me real fast I meen I know am boring un interested person but come on atleast show me that I worth something I meen am really sweet to the people I know and my closest friends didn’t even bother 2 come visit me after I got out of hospital or during my staying , thats how a person can know that he worths something but no my friends were in a restaurant sitting . Every guy that I meet says am beautiful or even gorgeous but once they speak to me they lose the interest I really don’t know what is that I do that drives people away I only have one close friend that is really good friend I meen my own dad once I cooked him a dinner and the after wards he had a stomach ache that had nothing to do with my food because I cooked him dinner before and then he accused me of trying to poison him and I was like whaaaaat you’re my dad it really was a bomb to me I kept crying all that night and my dad kept apologising saying he wasn’t thinking right and that he was stressed , and my mom iam second person that comes to her mind when my sister is in the picture am not hating my sis but am just saying what I notice some times I don’t even know whats wrong with me I just want to cry and other nights cry my self to sleep I know that am a mess but at least am not a suicidal person or drug addict or even an alcoholic I just need some person that can make me happy and live with the kinda life I dream about and want I realy am a complicated person and I hope that I become a better person with a better way of thinking so I can live in a peaceful life and mind .. and this little writing thing didn’t help but at least it made get it out af my system .

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