Love Work Family Friends Games Kids Life

Posted by on 2014/07/30 under Uncategorized

My existence is minimalistic at best… Eat just enough to make myself move, breath just enough to stay alive, smile just enough to appear normal, be awake just long enough, so they know your alive… I can’t feel the physical pain anymore… Was dying and I didn’t know it… Like nerves rotting the body from the inside out… I can’t be angry or mad… I just didn’t know, I didn’t have a name for it until now… The dull and heavy feeling in my stomach, the sharp pangs in my jaw, the lingering stiffness in the neck…. It wasn’t pain, it was sorrow, the anger I never had was always replaced with sorrow, and the happiness I faked was tinged with tears, and the screams I never voiced, were muffled by the sound of the deepest parts of my soul shattering… And I didn’t realize it had a name, my heart hasn’t been broken, it was never whole, I was born like this, and as a child never had a grasp on what happiness was, because I couldn’t feel it… The rigor mortis setting in, causing my bones to become stiff and creak, the darkness in my writing that no one ever reads, If you see me, you won’t know, what I’m like underneath… No one does… No one will… And that in its self… Is a bit sad… But I’m stuck in this world and web of false truths I have so eloquently spun for myself… And I will die like this… Without ever knowing… What the reason for it all was… Because I am empty, dull, and numb… Can’t feel the death biting my finger tips… And if anyone has read, all the way down to here… I understand, that you don’t get it… That this sounds silly, or foolish… But… I have lived my life like this… Unable to crawl out of the numbness… The indifference… Sorry to have wasted your time.

One thought on “Empty dying

  1. Anonymous says:

    I know how you are feeling,I feel the same way everyday.

Leave a Reply

Name and Mail are optional. Your email address is however required if you want to subscribe to the comments (see below)

This site uses User Verification plugin to reduce spam. See how your comment data is processed.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.