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Posted by on 2014/07/27 under Uncategorized

I’ve watched my father, who my whole life has been a pillar of strength and confidence, wilt into an old man who for the first time in his life is aware of his his own mortality and is terrified by it.

I carried my 12 year old labradoodle/best friend into the vet for the last time. I held my hand over his heart and felt his last heartbeat.

Last night, I was out with people I have been best friends with for ten years, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that we no longer have anything in common.

I’ve drifted for so long, embattled with depression, anxiety, hopelessness. But now I’m telling myself that all this is part of growing up, being an adult, becoming a man. That these ‘little deaths’ are only making way for new life, the feeling at last of actually being ALIVE.

If anyone reads this and is going through a rough patch, let’s both resolve to try to look past the little deaths and see the life blooming on the horizon. Believe in me, and I’ll believe in you.

Here’s to the turn of the tide.

–E

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