Posted by Anonymous on 2011/01/18 under Uncategorized This initially started as just a means of writing my feelings out, because talking to someone else about it, well isn’t the greatest of ideas! I’ve thought for the past few times that I have been okay, that I’ve managed to put behind all the unnecessary pain that I had to go through with my ex, so why is it that when I feel at my best and strongest, I end up falling to my lowest?! I didn’t even see her, she didn’t even see me.. I was no where near her presence, and yet all it took was for a friend to kindly give me a warning that encase I was going to a friends birthday night out, that she is also there.. And suddenly my heart drops, I feel sick and my head decides it’s okay to run 100mph! Do I still have feelings for her? Do I still want her? I’m not sure anymore.. I was convinced the answers to both were no! *Sigh* – I can’t be feeling like this.. It’s just so unfair! What have I exactly done in my life that’s so bad to deserve this? I was an idiot, who made stupid choices, but haven’t I paid my debt to the man upstairs?! Hasn’t he already toyed with my life enough.. I have no luck with women, and I accept that it will never work out for me.. I’ve accepted and am happy to move on with it, so why does he keep taunting me! Just leave me alone.. I don’t need you anymore, and I’m tired of being your puppet!! Go target and ruin someone elses’ life.. 🙁 I’m tired of praying to you, and hoping you’d listen.. You want me to have faith in you, then please make this stop! Make me lose all feelings for her, let me have a life where I can be happy, and not have my decisions affected due to her presence.. She’s with someone else now, and more happier! You’ve given her what she wants.. Please, just let me have this! I’m not asking for much.. :'( X