Posted by Anonymous on 2014/02/03 under Uncategorized I can’t lie and say i’ve had a bad life. I’ve really been blessed with everything involving my family, but when you look at my friends, whole different story. My 2 best friends are suicidal. Like seriously, what am i supposed to do. Yes i’m there for them and i listen to everything they have to say and am trying my hardest to help. But it tears you down seeing people like that, and i can’t really tell them my problems, they’ve got enough on their own. So ya know, i have lots of friends, but i really don’t have anyone… No one to just cry to and spill my heart out to. Don’t say i haven’t tried because i had some desperate cries for help one time. I’ll start to try to explain but they don’t seem to care because i’m not depressed or suicidal, but happy. So when i try and they don’t react i just say never mind… Never mind that i feel like my heart is in a shallow pool of my own blood. Forget about that frown i had on my face. It isn’t important anyway. What made it really hard was when my friend said he was an actor, faking his happiness. He wouldn’t explain, thinking that i wouldn’t understand. I wanted to say i knew exactly what that was like, but… i couldn’t.
I guess what this is is a cry for help. But the thing is, that i don’t want help. Because when you get help you face your problems head on. Your going in emotionally raw and exposed, not knowing what will happen in the end. And i guess forgetting is just easier for me.
2 thoughts on “Seriously, what am i doing.”
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be strong and tell your actor friend you are in the same boat. trust people. they may do you wrong, and they may overlook you, but there are those will care if you give them the chance, and since there arent that many of them out there, you really have to cherish the ones that will. You will never know until you trust them. Running away is easy, and inside you know that the easy thing is rarely the right thing.
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