Love Work Family Friends Games Kids Life

Posted by on 2013/09/06 under Uncategorized

I cannot stress enough, how burdened I am by whats happening to the girl next door. I dont see how I or anyone, have the right to smile when i can hear people crying. Just today i read on yahoo answers, this girl who was straight up being molested by her dad. I had to stop reading because my heart felt so heavy and i was so borderline suicide pessimistic that i just went on here to continue my pointless cycle of apathy sitting in my room staring at the ceiling. And with all the turmoil surrounding me and angst pented up inside, i still have the nerve to grasp one desire in hopes that it will make everything else and the anxiety it brings me disappear. If youve heard the song ” The world a mess its in my kiss” by X, then get that thats what i mean. I want a person that i could just love and ignore everything else with and move to the wild so we can be as far away from this as possible. But i just dont believe that it will ever happen and im pretty hellbent on dying with the next.. soon.My aspirations are empty, money is of zero interest to me and everytime i blink i feel the worlds burdens on my shoulders. From a really young age i always ended up befriending the kid with the very worst family living situation, and my dad would pry himself between it and attempt to force me to stop seeing them because everytime i got home id be drained, dead and emotionless with my mind stuck on the reality i knew my pal and her family was facing. My empathy is just too big i guess. I want to murder it, because life is technically “going on” for everyone else (even though in my opinion they are just continuing the same stupid cycle in pursuit of nothing)and im stuck here doing nothing as well, just waiting for someone to sweep me from my pain or for my roof to cave in and kill me before i kill myself. Im so restless from doing nothing that i cant sleep ever. My butts sore and my tailbone is bruised from always sitting. I just want to die man.. Its just not my time. I dont deserve to prosper on the skulls of the beheaded dreams of everyone around me.

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