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Posted by on 2011/09/16 under Uncategorized

I really think I loved you, or at least I could have loved you for the rest of my life. Time and time again I try to convince myself that what happened wasn’t my fault: I believed you loved me too, or could. All my friends blame you. But I don’t doubt for a second that she and all your friends blame me, that’s just how it is. Mine vs yours. But I don’t want this to be a war because I miss you miss you miss you so much and your jumper is lying in my wardrobe right now at the back shoved away so I can’t see it or smell it because it smells just like you. I have to force myself not to reach back and grab it and bring out a symbol of the memories that play through my head every day even though I know they shouldn’t. Basically I could never hate you but I feel like I should. I’m scared because I still think I love you sometimes, and this will never go away, but you will only break my heart again and again because you don’t feel… not for me anyway. Maybe for her, as stupidly cliched as it sounds I know you like her and I hate it because the way she looks at me shows she knows what I did and she judges me like I would have judged me but I swear at the time I did it because I would do anything for you. I would do anything for you. And I swear I will never ever talk to you again. I hope she breaks your f***ing heart 🙂

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