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Posted by on 2013/05/10 under Uncategorized

This is on the end of the person who cheated. It was a stupid move, and if he had left me, I would definitely have known the feeling of a broken heart.

The feeling of a broken heart – I don’t think I’ve felt one until today.

The upsets with the rest of my lovers I’ve had and lost were not quite so terrifying. It’s the fear that gets to you. I feel like someone has pushed me off the peak of a mountain and the fear cut so deep I couldn’t even scream.
But I was saved. Something caught me. It was that glimmer of hope that things will get better. That this is just a ‘bump in the road’ despite the fact that it was actually a mountain.

I now know the horror that is involved with cheating. It’s not who, or how, or the extent that I cheated, it’s the trust. The broken, cracked trust that will be the end of everything I love. The piece inside of him that i will never be able to replace ever again, will hurt him, and his pain will hurt me. I cannot explain a misunderstanding, or confusion, or any other excuse, because it just – won’t – matter. It wasn’t the excuses fault; it was mine and mine alone.

Now, the hope comes from the strength of the both of us. If we’re both strong, of mind and soul, we will reach the peak of the mountain. But the climb is by absolutely no means easy. It is a hard ass climb, and it is long. It will break us if we’re not strong enough.

Sometimes there is more than one mountain. Sometimes one climber seeks the danger, because the climb wasn’t hard enough.
But I think anyone who’s climbed one of said high mountains and has felt the fear of being pushed so hard off the edge, that the fear cuts to the bone, would have the decency to never bring anyone with them to the next mountain they dare.

With pain comes lesson. With lesson come knowledge. With knowledge comes longevity. With longevity comes life.
In this case, the lesson was so painful, that to me, the mountain has become a massive red flag – one that should not, and will not ever be climbed again.

One thought on “The Feeling of a Broken Heart

  1. Anonymous says:

    At first I thought it was gonna be another long boring read…but that was well-written and inspiring.

    I absolutely admire your sense of responsability and the imagery you use…

    I feel down a high mountain once. And then every climb will bring fear, the fear of falling again.

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