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Posted by on 2013/05/01 under Uncategorized

You keep promising me forever. Even though it’s rare that you’re sweet to me, you still like randomly bringing up OUR future together – houses, land, children? You’re so mean to me and now you’re even starting to get mean towards me in front of other people too and it’s embarrassing when I get told to f*ck off for absolutely no reason in public and still having to put a smile on my face when you throw a greasy shop rag up in my face and tell me to go away when I only ask you if you’d like help with your broken down truck.
You turned me down when I had finally convinced myself that I was sexy enough in 3 different lingerie outfits, to go to bed, to be with you, and make you proud. But the only times you want me in bed anymore is when you can tell me to STFU and choke me out, only getting what you want out of it.
You sent me away the other day, 3000 miles away on a plane and said you’d be right behind me with my stuff while we moved back to the small town where we grew up as best friends together – since I left you’ve started calling me pet names and telling me that you love me more than anything in the world? I know I shouldn’t have checked up on you to see why you were all of a sudden being so sweet and “planning your life out with me”, but I did.
You’ve been cheating on me with atleast 5 or more girls from what I found out, when you had sworn it’d never EVER happen again. You’ve been paying the bills with MY personal money because “your broke” when come to find out you’ve been spending all your money on other girls after 4 years of engagement to me?
I know it’s not me, baby, it’s you. But it still hurts like hell. Lately it’s gotten to the point where I’m almost scared of you and what you’ll do to me, my stuff or my animals that are still in a different state with you if I happen to piss you off and that’s not just something I can let go of anymore. I’m done with the pain, the crying, the uncontrollable shaking and your guilt trips of “you don’t trust me? :(” when I ask you to be honest with me about girls you talk to around town. No honey, I don’t trust you. I’m ready to be happy again and have a life. I’m ready to move on and forget every time I was turned down, screamed at or pushed to the ground. I love you, I care about you and what happens to you, but I just can’t do it anymore. I need somebody who’s good to me and won’t even consider cheating or pushing me around because they just love me THAT much. I’m not sorry for this, but I’m sorry for you. I hope when I end it between us you won’t go crazy on me, I’d really like to be friends again eventually, no matter what you’ve done to me in this relationship because I miss the old you I knew growing up in the woods. I’d like to see you succeed in your life and maybe even find true love some day if it’s not me. But now it’s up to you what happens in your life, I’m leaving for good this time.
Any advise how to move on from this horrible period in my life and ways to be happy again?

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