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Posted by on 2012/12/31 under Uncategorized

This year my entire life went down the drain. My boyfriend of four years broke up with me, I am doing horrible in college, I miss my family but they don’t miss me. My best friend commit suicide, and my favorite grandpa passed away. It has been a lot to have to deal with and I feel like this is the pit in my life. I need somewhere to write because I feel so alone during this time. Samantha was my friend who killed herself, last March. She was very, very pretty. All the boys thought so. She had blonde hair and tan skin and green eyes. But I guess she had inside things that she could not deal with and had to kill herself. She never left a note, nothing. One day she was just gone. I think it affected me the most. I didn’t leave my dorm for an entire week and I had to go to all these doctors who didn’t help. I still cry most everyday because I don’t understand why Samantha never talked to me about her feelings. I could have helped her through all of this mess. And then there is Nate, my boyfriend for four years. He broke up with me in November, saying that he, “Could not handle my raging emotions.” Wow. Did he not understand that my very best friend shot herself? And then he just walked away from me and we have not seen each other since. It just… made zero sense that he would do this to me. And now I hear that he is dating some pretty waitress at Hooters now. Hmm. I just want my old life back. The one where I was actually passing my classes. The one where Samantha would come over to watch moves and eat pizza. The one where Nate would tell me that he loved me and kiss me. But now everything has gotten out of hand and I don’t want to go into 2013 because what if things get worse?

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