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Posted by on 2012/12/29 under Uncategorized

It’s been almost 5 years now… I’ve moved on with my life and started somewhere else with someone else. I just never could nor can I get myself to not think about you from time to time. We were each others first love. In fact I remember the day we met, where you were sitting, what you were wearing. I even remember how you could feel it and pushed me away and I chased you for nearly 4 months. I finally got you though and we were so helplessly head over heels. I feel so pathetic writing this on a website I’m 99.999% sure you will never see yet there are times when a song or things that were said can’t help but resurface and I’m transported to 2007 in Raleigh. I understand now why I lost you. I also understand now and realize that it was both our faults. We were faithful, and we loved one another. We were just so young and inexperienced. Someone, somewhere once said that your first love is your greatest because it’s new and innocent; that you hold nothing back.. Looking back it was exactly that, and that inexperience that brought us down. I remember fighting for you though. Driving 3 hours to your house at 1 in the morning in my last effort to win your hand back… I wasn’t ready- we weren’t ready. It’s bittersweet reflecting on this and I can still feel the tinge of pain creeping through the hole in my past I’ve done well enough to nearly fill in. I just want someone even if it’s not you to know that if I could have understood what needed to be done the way I, a mature man, knows to do now, we might have had a chance (without the arguing). That passionate late night arguing that always ended in a kiss without the promise of tomorrow. I hope you are happy as I said when it all ended that that’s what I wanted for you. I trust you are. But i can’t help but selfishly hope that you think of me even just a little bit. With love. L

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