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Posted by on 2012/12/01 under Uncategorized

Do you ever get the feeling that you have forgotten how to smile? I meen it’s been so long since I remembered and the last time I smiled of true joy was as usual when I have to force myself to believe a so sick and tired of looking at myself and seen someone different who is not even me. The only time I get away with things is when people feel sorry for me you know seen that person in the class quiet and by himself because people will only like him if he acts like someone he is not. I feel so dum and like a child, even people and friends only seem to like me when they feel bad for not listening to me when I talk. I meen what the hell is wrong with me? I hate begin so abnormal and different my mind is completely screwed up and it’s not even my fault this deppertion is so confusing and I feel as if I am begin pushed to begin someone I’m not. I’m that type of person who don’t care about who I hang out with as long as they are friendly to me and I’m that type of person who likes to help people and I’m that type of person who can cope with stressful conflict most times whilts eveyone els takes their anger out on me for no reason. But it’s just not fair that I’m begin pushed back and tormented just because I’m nice, and even with a broken smile and people know that rumors have been spread about me by people who don’t even know me.

I just feel so depressed and lonely I don’t want to tell my parents anything about my life because I don’t want them to see me weak and I don’t want to tell anyone els because they can’t help and I don’t trust anyone anymore.i am sick and tired so tired of feeling to dumb and retreaded I feel as if my soul is begin tormented so much I can’t even snap into reality. Too many people have let me down I want to do something be somebody and I can’t do it alone. I aways helped people with their problems but when it comes to mine it just good to have somebody who would just hangout with you and talk to you who won’t judge you just someone who is beside you that’s all, and in the end when you do find that beautiful person they tend to leave and not talk to you Agian :,(

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