Resendaument
God, I do really resendaumeant Sister G. and M. for making me stop searching for easter eggs on easter that one year. I was finding them too quickly and it was making Gretchen upset and so I was told to slow down and let her find the rest. I am embarassed that this matters to [..more..]
Ellen Baskim Necronautically Surrenders to THE FAMILIAR
God, M. might be out of artillery. Gretchen keeps asking for monies and I am not supposed to? God must be in control of this situation? (I feel?) But it seems like ugly forces are doing it. I don't feel like this is just? But I am also unconditionally willing to accept these situations of [..more..]
Drith necronatutically
God, In Dr. Jamals office, with Jerry Seinfeld, I took a test of some kind in an also merged Savon/Albertsons/CVS type place. Later I was in the office of a lot of attractive girls. And there was a lot of strangeness I cannot describe here. There was something going on. M. could not put her [..more..]
Necrosiduals
God, It seems like I am free of the Jamalick consciousness for this brief momentousness. So I owe 150 monies but I don't have to become troubled about these until the time comes. So I can spend my check on anything I want to again! Which means, primarally; tshirts, foods of Momo, I don't know [..more..]
Necronautical Little Kids
God, Here is a list of the books I started out with as a youngin; Captain Underpants Goosebumps Boxcar Children IT's (Stephen King) Harry Potter Silently Anonymous, -The Archer
Necronautical Upset
God, I am so upset that I have to pay Doc-Jam for two visits!!! (???) That feels so unfair but I am so utterly desparate that I don't know what else is to be done! 300 monies. That is my entire peychecklessness if I don't get peid via M. And I wanted to still get [..more..]
Resentmentlessness
God, I resent Daniel for stealing my stereo speakers and taking 200 monies from M. and not paying her back. Inauthenticity, dread, anger, rage, embarasssment. Personal and social relations and self-esteem and ability to trust. I let him in the house, I was using at the time, and I didn't know how to tell him [..more..]
Necroenmity Meetings
God, I am aware that meetings are the bottom-most priority. But there are not very many in the area of God. There is Al-Anon tuesdays at 0700PM. There is Overeaters Anonymous at 0300PM on Fridays. There is Emotional Health Anonymous in Sierra Madre as well as Gamblers Anonymous in Sierra Madre on Tuesdays at 0700PM? [..more..]
Necronautical Mutilation
God, I am contemplating cutting off my pinky and ring fingers as a gesture of zen and sacrifice. THE FAMILIAR keeps acting like I don't deserve anything and it has gone on too long. Where is my college? Where is my emptiness? Where is my emptiness? Where is my emptiness? The Zen monks of late [..more..]
Necronautical Gassho
God, I masturbated last night while I was half awake. I feel like I've failed again. What is wrong with me? Am I a pig? An idiot? A stupos? If God wants me to stop masturbating myself I am willing to allow Him to gentle create a space that might make it easier to refrain. [..more..]