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Posted by on 2011/07/18 under Kids

My life has spun so outta control. I’m feeling like I have no way out anymore. It started when I took my family sledding. I hit a tree at about 30 to 40 mph with my body. I had to throw my gf’s child of the sled and take it myself. I’m pretty sure it would have killed her. It knocked me out. It busted out a few of my teeth. When I came to I couldn’t catch my breath. When I finaly got up I staryed walking a bit then feel down. She wanted to call 911 but me thinking I was ok I said no. I had no insurance so I did everything on my own doctors wise. I got nowhere with it. I tried and tried to get fixed but nothing worked and I got frustrated and quit going to the doctors and started buying pain pills on my own. It was the only way I could work again. I worked for myself. I figured I could get health ins but its too damn much. Anyways its been 6-7 yrs now and me and the gf fought all the time. She never understood how much I hurt. I wanna be clear here I don’t eat them to get high. I only take 5 a day and that’s after 6-7 yrs. I do it just to live. Now things got bad she would call me a junkie after I just did the right thing and protected her daughter. That hurt a lot. We kept trying to make it work. Now we have a child together whom I’ve paid every expence for except food….I think that was a great deal for her. I love to spend my money on my baby girl makes me feel good! The day before christmas I totaled my truck. It wasn’t pretty. It took me 2 mos to be able to work again and my back is even worse. when I went back to work I had to stay in her truck in the middle of winter far away from home to save money to get me a new truck when I got home so I could work and take care of my daughter again and my new baby on the way. While I was down there she would send me text messages saying she wanted to give the new baby up. They sounded like it was about getting all this help in the form of money. F*** if that aint wrong in my eyes. I wouldn’t answer them. When I got back we weren’t together anymore. She got an order of protection on me and gave birth without telling me and now someone adopted my child. My other daughter she won’t let me see. She’s 16 mos and I’m missing all her firsts. I can’t do much with my back so getting lawyers is hard. I got rid of her first order and waited a few weeks and went to see if I could see my daughter and she let me come in then. Eventualy she said something bout the baby she gave up on and I called her a baby seller. Pissed her off. She called cops I said that’s fine I will wait at my car. I did and I got arrested. Now she tryin to get another order again. How I don’t know. I left when asked. All I want is to see my daughter….I never had a dad and being the best 1 can is important to me. I can’t work hard with my back to pay for lawyers or get my back fixed. I even tried getting a medical card but they took it away before I could figure out what’s wrong with it. I basicly have lost everything and I just don’t have much left inside!

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