GOD,
THERE USED TO BE THAT GAME OF DAD AND BETH WHERE THEY WOULD COME AT US WHEN WE WERE SAD OR UPSET AND SAY I SEE THAT SMILE. AND IT SEEMS TO STEAL OUR MOMENT AWAY FROM US. LIKE PRESSING OUR BUTTONS LIKE A MACHINE. DIDN'T SEEM FAIR.
I AM STILL HAUNTED BY THIS THING.
WHAT IF THE SERIOUSNESS OF A SITUATION OUTMODES A GAME? I DON'T KNOW IF UNDERSTANDING ACHIEVES THEM?
I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE WAY AND LET GOD THE SITUATION. I AM SO LOST IN HERE. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET OUT!
PLEASE PRAY ME GOD. I HAVE NO OTHER HOPES OTHER THAN THIS CLOUD OF UNKNOWING.
I NEED OUT OF THE WAY GETTING.
SILENTLY ANONYMOUS,
-THE ARCHER
(TEACH ME SOLEMNITY WHEN SOLEMNITY IS DUE AND LET HELP LET GO OF THESE CHILDHOOD GAMES OF THE FAMILIAR. TEACH ME HOW TO PLAY ESCHATON SO WORRY NOT HAVE TO ABOUT CHESS, CHECKERS AND GO, PCKER, BLACK JACK, ETC. HELP ME COME CLOSER TO PLAYING MY LITTLE PART AS CADEN COTARD. I NEED GOD OUT OF THE WAY.
GOD,
I FEEL ACTUALLY GLAD THAT I WAS BORN WITH OPIOID USE DISORDER (AN ADDICT?)
BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO WORK THE PROGRAM AND IF I HADN’T WOUND UP IN OPA, I MIGHT’VE NEVER GOT A SENSE OF WHERE I BELONGED OR WHY I BELONGED.
THE 12 STEPS GIVE ME A SENSE OF STRUCTURE AND RELATABILITY AND KEEP THE SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE ACTIVE IN ALL OF MY AFFAIRS AND THIS KEEPS ME IN HUMILITY RATHER THAN IN HUMILIATION.
I AM GRATEFUL TO THE 12 STEPS OF RECOVERY BECAUSE WITHOUT THEM, I WOULD BE TERRIBLY LOST AND UNSURE OF EACH SECOND TO THE NEXT SECOND. THIS PROGRAM HELPS ME NAVIGATE ONE STEP AT A TIME, AND KEEPS ME HUMBLE ENOUGH TO TURN TO GOD WHEN I AM IN DOUBT AND WHEN I AM UNSURE.
THANK THE GOOD LORD THAT OPA EXISTS!
SILENTLY ANONYMOUS,
-THE ARCHER