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Posted by on 2018/12/11 under Kids


I am powerless over my phobia of the penis and my life has become unmanageable.

I have a terror regarding my penis and I feel like if I don't play with it it might hurt me in some way. I tried to get through another night masturbationless but I failed because it helps me sleep.

I don't know how to get over this disease but I am a member of facing fears anonymous so that is an optimistic thing.

God help me get over this shame that the devil granted me. I don't know how to be naked without shame so forth. I am in the miasma of the collective unconscious and I don't know how to get out. Please pray me into a naked intent of God.

I am getting out of Gods way with the help of God, so forth.


-The Archer

12 thoughts on “Phallophobics Anonymous

  1. Anonymous says:

    I don’t feel as scared of the female genitalia (eurotophobia) because THE FAMILIAR is constantly flashing me theirs. I probably have a fear of both which is why I claim to be asexual. I don’t know if I am or not but I feel more graysexyal than I do not feel graysexual. I hope that God can remove my fears, shame, guilt and trauamtic dississisation. God knows my powerlessness in the heart of God. I can be Gods way out of Getting out of Gods way. God please neutralize these particular pains so that I can get some relief from the devil of THE FAMILIAR. I am a powerlessly powerless unknowing. I can and am getting out of Gods eloquent way, so forth.

  2. Anonymous says:

    The lack of desire sounds really spooky to me. What am I if I don’t have desire? A blank? A neutrino? A dust mote? A stone? So forth.

  3. Anonymous says:

    -Graysexyal Tshirt and Green Party tshirt?

  4. Anonymous says:

    Gray is Okay – tshirt

  5. Anonymous says:

    A vegan graysexyal.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Graysexuals Anonymous

  7. Anonymous says:

    Code grey – someone is acting out violently

    code blue – somebody stopped breathing

    code red – fire

    code pink – somebody stole the baby

    code green – somebody escaped

  8. Anonymous says:


  9. Anonymous says:

    Gregory Seuss (Crying Christ)

  10. Anonymous says:

    Give me the first seven years of a persons life and Ulllrich can have the rest?

    What did I achieve at 7?

    -Burned down the house

    -Met Ms. Heffner

    -discovered self-mutilation (tic tac, quarter, and electric screw driver)

    -was shamed by beth for saying that the teddy bears and stuffed animals tickled my penis

    -reversed the car into sarahs fence

    -tried to read IT upside down

    -was attacked by dominique and forced into her sick game

    -had communion + sunday school graduation

    -was punched in the face (todd siefke and joey)

    -was kissed by gina and then made fun of for it

    -fell in love with ashley cooper

    -was bullied because I tried to give her a card

    -witnessed dads explosion

    -found and lost jasper and learned about death by burying him

    -had i met connor and cameron at this point?

    -met grandma and grandpa

    -met uncle greg

    -had a goldfish that snowbell ate while I was gone

    -called snowbell a chickens***

    -got into teletubbies

    -got into power rangers

    -learned about the death of the universe

    -(the death of jasper and the death of the universe) (interesting)

    -learned about leukemia and the different kinds of death and the forms therein

    -learned about john crapper who invented the toilet

    -learned about ashtma and how people didn’t believe that I felt sick even if I told them I did and that if there wsan’t an external representation IE I hadn’t turned blue, then no-one might not believe me.

    -lied about being abducted by theives and robbers one morning from school (on my way to school) (men in ski masks) (cops came and everything, so forth)

    -that somehow THE FAMILIAR had stopped thinking of me and that I had to ask them to get me Jasper after they had already gotten buttercup and snowbell.

    -snowbell was very scared and hiding under the things (the furniture) so forth)

    -radical emptiness? (seems optimistic) (i feel)

    -that I liked horror and haunted houses?

    -that I was catholic by default?

    -that emptiness is emptiness and form is form?

    -that goosebump rocks and so does michael jordan (hahaha)

    -that mimis cafe has oreo pudding with worms in it

    -that uncle jeff who happens to be dead stole the tip once from their years of youngerhood and got in trouble a lot of trouble (and it seems like THE FAMILIAR also happened to me?)
    (Gregory Lawrence Eidson) (named after my uncle and godfather, with my dads middle name and really into UFOS, and the mystery of the cosmos neither scientific nor unscientific, and dad was born in ohio and M. was born in washington,seattle, so forth)

    -connor and cameron live behind us with their mother jennifer blake, she is an addict too which makes relatability relatable, so forth.

    -M. smokes cigarettes and Jennifer smokes a lot of cigarettes, so forth

    -their dad likes slipknot the metal band

    -once we were going to watch WWF on payperview but I don’t remember it ever happeneing?

    -they had a dog named bear and a dog named yoshi. once yoshi bit M.

    -I had a pet semetary for my birthday and I painted it on a sign and coincidentally Mandy died the same day I put the sign up.

    -Mandy was bleeding a lot becausse Yoshi kept doing IT to her (IT IT IT).

    -Chris Blake said that he really liked Pet Semetary (IE it was the scaariest movie he’d ever seen, so forth)

    -christ didn’t live in the house but worked on bicycles and came to visit a little often.

    -I once got sunburnt at the beach and the burns were so bad that they turned nito what looks like lasanga and spaghetti to me (i’ve had an aversion since, perhaps even before) and the pain was so horrendous that when the blister popped that released all of the scabs I ran away from the pool party in tears of pure terror. It was the most (???) (How do I know what the most is before living the entire life?) terrifying and painful experiencce I’ve ever tootin’ had!

  11. Anonymous says:

    -That kid down the street and I had a disagreement about a wiffleball at some point. I can’t remember what it was.

    -brenden stancer messes up my hair (I am copying him)

    -i get osiris d3’s to match andrew aguinniga and his skateboarding

    -i lied about being able to do a 360 flip in front of Steven and his brothers (felt high levels embarassed)

    -saw an angel at the hotel after fire (seems manipulative? I feel)

    -Did I even do the fire? What if it is a false memory syndrome?

    -how many false memories do I have?

    -witness nora beating the kids especially tanya


    -Tommy Pickles, Chuckie, Angelica (the big meanie), Phil and Lil,

    -Captain Underpants + SouthPark

    -pralines and cream

    -apple cider

    -helping grandpa cut the turkey? (scolded by M. to do it)

    -candy land

    -buddy dies (really gnarly death, vomiting carrots and seizures

    -crying over a yellow phone from radio shack that i wanted? (really foggy!) (just watched old yeller and said that we had to shoot him down becausse of rabies)

    -M. has to get a rabies vaccine because of Yoshi biting her

    -learn how to read and write

    -Jasper dies on beths chest

    -buttercup runs away

    -downtown julie brown, jasper?, (was jasper from the litter? or separate?),

    -Gretchen sad that we’re giving some of the kitteens to summer keelans sister

    -Gretchen and Beth do ballet up the alley

    -told the story about the Oujia board and how it kept coming back to this one person even after they’d broken it into a million little pieces, so forth.

    -try to steal an holographic charizard from the blakes but get caught by jennifer

    (did I want to get caught?)

    (seems like not wanting to smile)

    (seems more serious than the big smile game)

    (seems like the grin without the cat)

    -(or the cat without the grin, so forth)

    -have to use a lot of lube if they do it in the butt

    -dessert is spelled two rs because we want seconds desert is one r because nobody does?

    -connor and cameron abuse the kittens by throwing them off of the bunk bed top

    -andrew aguinniga, james oh, brenden stancer (not really my friend more of a bully!), connor and cameron, johnathan james, tony avola, justin delanuez, henry mikely, toby?, that kid that taught me the skateboard when we were at edens?, matt brockman

    -some game we played about a purple alien and singing I will survive on the playstation in chris brockmans room (it was dancing, so forth)

    -pauly and alec (connor and camerons friends), so forth

    -I don’t know anyone else that was so close to me?

    If it comes later I can allow God to enter the heart parts and reveal the differences that I have forgotten or ignored in my blind spots.

  12. remember says:

    I remember my childhood
    I remember it vaugely
    i remeber my sister
    i remember my nan
    i remember my grandad
    i remember night clubbing
    i remember bouncers around me
    i remember blood pouring out of a mans face
    i remember waking up and having a bruise on my foot
    i remember snorting cocaine in the back of a strangers car
    i remember a so called friend ripping my shirt open buttons flying
    i remember hugging her in a bed and never wanting it to end
    i remember sitting around listening to queen songs and crying because you left
    i remember when you got drunk your face changed
    i remember when we had to turn the life support machine off
    i remember
    i remember you asking me to get your bottle of wine down from the top shelf
    i remember grabbing on your wheelchair
    i remember pretend punching you too hard as a kid
    i remember killing a frog
    i remember

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