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Posted by on 2019/05/29 under Friends

I've been to hell and back.I've been took for granted,been betrayed by my own trusted human beings,been hurt,been broken,been bullied,been depressed,been sad,been alone,been scared to be happy. I'm so scared to be happy because i know after happiness there is sadness. I'm so tired and i don't even know what to feel or what i'm feeling anymore. It's like i'm numb, i'm so done with people. They are liars and pretencious. I won't trust anyone so easily because they'll pretend they like you but when you turn your back they'll the first one's to judge you behind your back without you knowing it. People are good with that. They say they wil never leave your side but they will. My highschool bestfriend said she's done with me. Why? because i'm not the same as before. I'm not bubbly and i don't make jokes anymore like i used to. B****! that's when i realized that she doesn't deserve a friend like me. I gave her everything. It's like i'm in a relationship with her but not knowing that she doesn't feel the same way, that's what i felt that time. It was worst than breaking up with a guy. f***k. Damn that b****, she even dm my friends for what? She even had the guts to go to my bday party.Good thing i cried when they left. I drank a ot of wine while singing a song ang crying my freaking heart out while my true friends comforted me. B**** i don't need her! At least i got my elementary best friend back. I don't need to be nice, i just have to be me. I'm me so f***kk off if you hate me b**** i don't like you anyways.

One thought on “I donnu what to feel anymore.

  1. Anonymous says:

    People come. People go. People change. So do you.
    Life is constant change. Its difficult enough to live it, so instead of fighting it, go with it.
    You cant change the fact that she feels in whatever way about you. You are you and you should not bend yourself over some other person. Im not saying you should be inflexible, Im saying you have your own space and your own identity, and some people wont like you. Thats really easy to say, but really hard to accept.
    People wont always like you. You are like a Tetris shape, and you fit in many places, but in others you wont.
    And some people change shape, and so do you.

    Life is constant change. Find the place you fit in now, and enjoy it.

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