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Posted by on 2014/08/05 under Friends

How could I possibly ever be on par with my seemingly perfect student of a best friend? In high school, she was a straight A student, those handful of students with a grade point average of 4.0 that was a part of National Honor Society and put on the newspaper with all of the other seemingly perfect academic students? Even after four years into college, she is still remembered by teachers and peers alike, in both academics and music. They remember, admire, and love.

Who am I? I was the student who struggled in math and science courses, questioning how students could manage being perfect in every subject. I was the student who was not qualified for a music opportunity until a few days before graduation. I was the student who peers would not remember because I fell under the shadows of those who excelled. After four years, I feel like that same student.

I try and try again to be excellent at the only subject that I feel I am best at compared to the other academic subjects, and that’s music. However, I continue to struggle even in that, falling behind regardless of the hours of practice I put. Of course, there is always someone better, but I can’t seem to excel at the rate I want to see myself. I’m at home with frustrations and hatred for myself while my best friend is elsewhere improving with a wonderful opportunity. Am I doomed to being in my friend’s shadow as well?

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