Posted by Anonymous on 2019/08/07 under Family I was in the kitchen preparing some toast and felt a fart coming on. I didn't think anyone else was around so I let it go, it was a bit loud. "Luka, did you just pass gas in my kitchen?" Girlfriend's mom had walked in without me noticing. She's about 5'7 with shoulder-length red hair. She was kidding of course, but has this sly grin. I chuckle and say "Yeah, I did." She raises an eyebrow. "Better watch out. I ate a lot of chili this afternoon." I'd never heard her fart before despite being at the house loads of times. So I was kinda shocked when she said that. But I went along with saying some joking thing like "Psh yeah but everyone knows girls don't do that." "Oh? Interesting theory," she says, "Well, you were warned …" And backs away like Homer Simpson back into Flanders' hedge. Thought nothing of it, ate toast, watched tv with girlfriend on the couch. A couple episodes into the show we were watching, we're both feeling pretty tired and just sorta chilling there, her head on my shoulder, enjoying each other's company and half-watching wacky cartoon antics. My girlfriend's mom walks in, see her out of the corner of my eye. She walks over close to me on the right side of the couch. "Hey Luka, remember our little exchange earlier?" Bit droggy so I'm like "Hm?" and turn my head to the right JUST as she's turning around, and then puts her butt right on the arm of the couch and riiiiiiiIIPS! a ginormous wet fart literally in my face. I'm in total shock, stupidly take a whiff, it's as bad as you would expect a huge chili fart in the face to be, I gag, girlfriend's mom is laughing super hard and then apologizing profusely that she didn't mean it to be that bad but I can't really concentrate because I'm coughing and my nose is assaulted, my girlfriend is yelling at her mom, I'm in the middle there suffocating in the cloud. I actually ended up laughing once I got my nose buried safely in my sweatshirt; in retrospect it was very well played of course. The brief rest of the night goes normal. Except soon before I leave, when I say goodbye to girlfriend's mom, she pauses with an odd look for a moment, "I think you should take a shower when you get home. You smell pretty bad, wonder how that happened?" I roll my eyes and can't help but laugh a bit, she winks and chuckles, we hug and I get in my car to go home. And I did take a shower when I got home. And have a new appreciation for my girlfriend's mom's abilities