Posted by Anonymous on 2017/10/21 under Family Everyone always says how much they love their family and how much they mean to them. How they will do anything for them and how they are their biggest supporter. I also love my family but I also feel like it’s because I have to. These people share DNA with me and because of that reason I have to deal with their bulls***. Oh, but that is what family is about, always dealing with bulls*** and living with it because WE ARE FAMILY. My dog that is another species is a better family to me. Perhaps this is why people leave the nest and suffer through family get together’s; Or maybe why a person would move across the country. “I got a really great job!” Yeah and it’s away from all you crazies. But then I think that they must be so lonely across the country but then realize if they are starting a family out their then they will make new family to deal with.
This probably comes across as bitter and negative because it is. I don’t feel bad about that. It’s how I feel and just because it’s not positive doesn’t mean I should feel bad about it. I really do love all the positive my family does for me, honestly I do. But what about the negative? Is that just swept under the rug? Can I not talk about it?
I highly value privacy. I like personal information about myself to be kept between me and whoever I share that with. NOT the whole family. I know everyone loves to gossip about each other and I know certain people in my family can’t be trusted with a secret. My mom does this thing where she relays anything that happens to me to her mother (my grandmother) then my grandmother informs the entire family about my life update. How I didn’t get the job. How I went on a date with a boy. How I went to the doctor’s for a UTI. Like great my mom wants to brag about her kid. I on the other hand don’t want the attention.
Because of this I keep many things to myself including my mental health issues of depression and social anxiety. I already have planned how if certain life events happen, how I’m going to handle it. Getting married for example: I’d probably do it at a big family get together like Christmas or July 4th, it could be months after he proposes and just let everyone know at the same time. That way I got to tell everyone that matters about my news before they could inform each other. Same thing with getting pregnant. Actually I might just not say anything and they can spread that rumor on their own. Oh well they just care, that’s what they are their for, to ruin the surprise, take the spotlight and inform everyone about your life.
My grandmothers on both sides have had breast cancer. One had an aggressive kind and needed rounds of chemo. The other just a lumpectomy and mild radiation, because of this my chances of getting breast cancer went up. This scares me because I love my boobs but what I don’t like is that I’ll get diagnosed and just not tell anyone. Maybe my gay best friend because he will support me and not tell everyone. Uber to the hospital and back; come up with excuses for why I’m always running errands and maybe tired. I just don’t want the grief and everyone’s input on how I should do things. Getting cards in the mail from great aunt Susan wishing me well into recovery. I don’t want pity. At least I won’t get blamed for getting breast cancer unlike other kinds of cancer. Thank god I don’t smoke.