Mom
I was cleaning the attic and saw my mom had kept her diaries from when she was a teenager. I know i shouldn't have read them but I did and now…I feel really bad for her. Knowing what she went through with her abusive mom, the pain she suffered. I respect her so much
Hell
Hell is me. I am my own hell.
Like I never was there
It's been so long. It's been a while since I felt this way. I have a job, a house; I have Friends, I have entertainment. Things to do. A place to sleep, good, even a decent computer. Things to avoid thinking of my self. Of my real feelings. But now its here. It's been so [..more..]
confused
It is not what I want. I don't want any trick. Please, be honest to me.
Thoughts on Sunday (Brimo visits)
September 22, 2019 4:30 PM Telling me how bad the nation is and how we need to move to Canada. Well I'm not doing well enough. Saying I need my sister to interact with to help my grades. But not true. Assuming my interaction around her is same as when she's not around. Stressing that [..more..]
Wednesday and Visit to courthouse
September 26, 2019 11:03 AM Was unable to read for long. [Can't remember why I wrote the above line] I went to a Criminal Court at 1000 Finch Have West, Toronto. It was my first time at a courthouse. I had a few questions as I couldn't navigate the courthouse. Didn't know what courtroom to [..more..]
Monday (Week of physics hw3)
September 30, 2019 10:20 PM Wasted the day watching series. Met a person to explain something with physics. Hard to talk. Felt uncomfortable at the time to come home. Uncomfortable with my mum in the room. Still unproductive
Following Day, Tuesday
October 2, 2019 12:12 AM Wasted the day again. Wanted to use the TBLGAY room, but it was locked. Feeling sad and unmotivated to do anything, even help mum or answer questions —Later on from Oct 8th, I finally went to see a counsellor at the Counselling Services. Been postponing it as I don't know [..more..]
Following Day, Tuesday
October 2, 2019 12:12 AM Wasted the day again. Wanted to use the TBLGAY room, but it was locked. Feeling sad and unmotivated to do anything, even help mum or answer questions —Later on from Oct 8th, I finally went to see a counsellor at the Counselling Services. Been postponing it as I don't know [..more..]
Thanksgiving Sunday at Izirein’s
October 13, 2019 6:31 PM Went to the thanksgiving dinner at Izirein. Again, socially overwhelmed by the numerous family members I can't relate with. One of the sons came with big speakers for music. He's into music. My mum asks me to help them set up the audio equipment, probably because she felt I was [..more..]